Circle

I am in Mumbai

2010-01-26T11:52:00.002+05:30

Long time since I blogged, but i'll try doing my bit from now on. I have shifted to Mumbai on a new role, which is really good :)

Ziddi

2008-05-27T08:19:00.002+05:30

This is my first blog entry for 2008. Aarushi (that's my niece), Work and Plenty of movies have kept me out of action from here for some time now. As luck would have it, the first entry for this year is a positive one, just like the last entry of last year.

If you notice, title of this blog is "ziddi", which is hindi for obstinate. The obstinacy I mention here is about the aviation sector having a regulator and sorting out all consumer unfriendly practices that various companies in this sector in India have been adopting. At times, it might have seemed that this blog is hate-mail blog for aviation sector..or an aviation sector blog..but I assure you it's not. Just that it was my obstinacy which was making me write updates on any news which this blog raised.

I had written to Civil Aviation Minister and also the Director General, MRTPC regarding practicies which I found consumer unfriendly. This finally paid off. Following are some of the directives that have come out of the ministry

Airline companies need to refund any amount that is due on them in case of ticket cancellation
Fuel surcharge to be absorbed in ticket pricing so that consumers are not misled...and it be refunded in case a consumer cancels the ticket.
Fuel Surcharge has to be different for different distances

Times of India Story

Domestic airlines will no longer be able to hold passengers who cancel their
tickets to ransom by delaying refunds indefinitely or by asking them to fly
again instead within a given time. Acting on complaints, the government is set
to issue new refund rules: airlines will have to issue refunds within a week and cannot
swap refund for another flight. Better still, the new rules make it mandatory
for airlines to refund the entire amount of passenger service fee (Rs 225),
congestion surcharge (Rs 150) and fuel surcharge (at present Rs 1,950 for short flights and Rs 2,350 for others) on ticket cancellation. Because
these three alone add up to Rs 2,325 for flights below an hour's duration and Rs
2,725 for others, many low-cost carriers have been advertising basic fares of Re 1, Rs 3, Rs 99 or even zero to give the impression
that their fares are low and it is taxes and surcharge that have made flying
expensive. Once the new refund rules come into play, these carriers may be
forced to come clean on their pricing strategy and offer basic fares that give
them leverage to hold back some cancellation amount. The proposed rules are part
of the new civil aviation requirement (CAR) framed by the Directorate General of
Civil Aviation and approved by the aviation ministry last week. DGCA is likely
to notify these shortly. The CAR takes note of passengers' longstanding woes.
"The issue of refund of tickets by airlines has become a major source of
grievance among passengers. A large number of complaints are regularly
received... (of) delay in refund of unused ticket, amount refunded and policy of
not refunding ticket amount but to adjust that against tickets to be used for
future travel in same airline within a limited period of time," it says. The CAR
severely indicts airlines, saying that though the government does not usually
interfere in their commercial practices, "the volume of complaints necessitates
some affirmative action to safeguard the interests of the travelling public." It
adds: "The matter has been discussed in several meetings with airlines (but)
with no improvement in the system... It is now considered that the onus rests
with the government to fix some minimum benchmarks." Under these new benchmarks,
airlines will have to make refunds for payments made by credit card within seven
days of the cancellation. "In case of cash transactions, refunds shall be made
immediately by the airline office from where the ticket was purchased," the CAR
says. Many airlines, especially low-cost ones, do not issue refunds for
cancelled tickets. They deduct a cancellation charge and retain the balance
which can be adjusted by the passenger for flying with the airline again within
a certain time. "This is a patently consumer-unfriendly move that we want to
correct," said a senior official. The government consulted refund rules of
several countries before coming out with its own stringent draft of rules."

Without meaning to sound preachy and all...I encourage you to be ziddi about any issue that you feel is worth your efforts and all I can tell you in nutshell is that, it works :)

Action Continues :)

2007-12-25T11:46:00.001+05:30

These were some issues that I had raised in my fuel surchage blog.

Levying of fuel surcharge amounts to tax evasion since it is not paid to government but retained by the airline operators
Fuel spent in each flight being a variable component, fuel surcharge should also be variable and should be dependent on distance of flight among other factors. This contention has also found merit with various government agencies and hence we can see some action on this front too. I quote here from a news report published in The Times of India dated 25th December 2007.

" Domestic travellers flying short-haul distances that can be covered in about an hour may pay less surcharge that those flying longer distances. SpiceJet executive chairman Siddhanta Sharma told TOI: "We expect a decline in ATF prices. If that is over 1.5 %, we will lower the fuel surcharge. We are also looking at differential fuel surcharge — distances covered in less than 75 minutes like Delhi-Jammu/Srinagar, Delhi-Ahmedabad or Mumbai-Goa could have a lower surcharge than those travelling longer sectors." "

"Air India CMD V Thulasidas was "hopefully cautious".Thulasidas said several domestic carriers, including Indian Airlines (now AI) are looking at differential fuel surcharge"

"Hitesh Patel, executive V-P of Kingfisher, said: "We are looking at differential fuel surcharge in which people flying short haul pay less cess on this count. Although no final decision has been taken so far, we are discussing this concept for both Kingfisher and Deccan." A Jet Airways spokesperson said: "We will decide later.""

The third and probably the most important contention that I had made in my blog was linked to the second contention, which is, since fuel spent is different for different airlines, the fuel surcharge levied by various airlines cannot be same unless fixed by cartelization. This has to be investigated by the MRTPC or Competition Commission. Internationally such nexus is being investigated thoroughly and has been found to be present prima facie.

" European and U.S. regulators are investigating at least a dozen carriers for possible price fixing of fuel surcharges at their cargo units. British Airways Plc, Japan Airlines Corp., Air France-KLM Group, Europe's biggest airline, SAS Group, the owner of Scandinavian Airlines, and Cargolux Airlines International SA, Europe's No. biggest freight-only carrier, were also charged along with Cathay Pacific, Singapore Air "

Will post more as it happens... :)

Blog in ACTion

2007-12-24T19:21:00.000+05:30

I am really proud that the research that I had posted in this blog has led to some action in terms of DGCA issuing notices to Jet Airways and Kingfisher airlines on the same issue. Here is an economic times article and I quote:

"The directorate general of civil aviation (DGCA) on Thursday issued show-cause notices to Kingfisher and Jet Airways for not furnishing details of the components charged as tax in their domestic tickets. The move comes after the civil aviation authority issued notices early this month to both the full-service carriers for allegedly misleading passengers by clubbing fuel surcharge and congestion charge with tax. In the show-cause notice to the airlines, DGCA asked them as to why action should not be initiated against them under paragraph 15 of Schedule XI to the Aircraft Rules, 1937, for not furnishing details of the charged tax components in their domestic tickets. "

Here are some other links

I will keep this blog posted with the latest :)

ORAL-B Ad

2007-08-30T10:46:00.001+05:30

Brilliant Creativity :)

Title: Telephonic List
Client: Oral-B (mouth wash)
Tagline: Against bad breath
Creative Director: Ruy Lindenberg
Art Director: Adalberto Santana

Fuel Surcharge

2007-08-15T23:09:00.000+05:30

What is a fuel surcharge? How is this calculated? Is it a tax? Why it is not added to the ticket price? What are the tax implications? Is someone evading tax? Is there a scope of rigging this? What are the international practices?

I do not claim to be an expert on either of the above subjects but would try to answer some of them by some research on the internet.

What is fuel surcharge? How is it calculated?

Fuel Surcharge is a fee added to tickets by an airline to cover increased fuel costs. It is usually added to ticket price as if it were a tax. A surcharge is actually an extra fee added onto another fee or charge.

Let’s take an example to understand what this fuel surcharge is. Please note that all figures used in this example are only illustrative.

1) First the extra cost of fuel (Aviation turbine fuel (ATF)) per month is worked out by multiplying an airline’s average fuel consumption per month by the increase in fuel cost.

2) Then this extra cost per month is calculated as a percentage of the average sales per month so as to cover the increased fuel costs to give us the fuel surcharge %.

Example:

If the fuel price increased by 50 paisa per litre and the average consumption per month was 1000 litres per month, the extra fuel cost incurred would be:

1000 litres x 0.50 = Rs. 500.00

Assuming that the average revenue per month based on 1000 litres of fuel consumption is Rs. 10,000.00, the fuel surcharge recovery percentage would be calculated as follows:

Rs. 500.00/Rs. 10,000.00 = 5.000%

Thus, as can be seen the example above, it must be variable with the change in fuel prices (for the sake of convenience, we can take the median fuel price of the last month to fix surcharge for the next month).

Brief History of fuel surcharge

Fuel surcharge actually came about as a means for "common" carriers to increase their "tariff" rates. At one time, common carriers had to file, or publish, their rates (ticket prices were fixed between sectors for different consumer classes and this was published and submitted to regulatory authorities). Common carriers could only charge their published tariff rates--no more, no less. When fuel charges increased, the common carrier was able to file a supplement to its tariff showing the actual fuel surcharge. In order to have a fuel surcharge, you must have a base price. The base price for common carriers was its published tariff rates. Today, the term “fuel surcharge” is used and misused by whomever it will benefit. In reality, there is no such thing as fuel surcharge, as common carriers can now enter into contracts with consumers at variable prices (This was allowed in line with international trends to improve seat occupancy in aircrafts.)

Is it a Tax?

Let’s understand tax.

A tax is a financial charge or other levy imposed on an individual or a legal entity by a state or a functional equivalent of a state (for example, secessionist movements or revolutionary movements). Taxes consist of direct tax or indirect tax. A tax may be defined as a "pecuniary burden laid upon individuals or property to support the government [ . . .] a payment exacted by legislative authority. A tax "is not a voluntary payment or donation, but an enforced contribution, exacted pursuant to legislative authority" and is any contribution imposed by government [ . . .] whether under the name of toll, tribute, impost, duty, custom, excise, subsidy, aid, supply, or other name.

Taxation has four main purposes or effects: Revenue, Redistribution, Repricing, and Representation.

The main purpose is revenue: taxes raise money to spend on roads, schools and hospitals, and on more indirect government functions like good regulation or justice systems. This is the most widely known function.

A second is redistribution. Normally, this means transferring wealth from the richest sections of society to poorer sections, and this function is widely accepted in most democracies, although the extent to which this should happen is always
controversial.

A third purpose of taxation is repricing. Taxes are levied to address externalities: tobacco is taxed, for example, to discourage smoking, and many people advocate policies such as implementing a carbon tax as a way of tackling global warming.

A fourth, consequential effect of taxation in its historical setting has been representation. The American revolutionary slogan "no taxation without representation" implied this: rulers tax citizens, and citizens demand accountability from their rulers as the other part of this bargain.

Having understood Tax from the above, it is explicit that this fuel surcharge is not a tax as it does not fit in the definition detailed above nor does it fits into the purpose for which tax is collected as listed above.

Why it is not added to the ticket price?

The airline companies have found a deceiving marketing technique to split the price of an airline ticket. They divide it into two components: something called the fare and the other as they call as “taxes”. As has been proved above this term is misleading. As the tax is just the fraction (Rs. 225 fixed) of the entire travel fee. Airlines by doing this little manipulation save on commission payouts to travel agents, when they hike surcharge and taxes as they keep their base fares low. The tax and surcharge component directly goes to the airline company who pass on only the passenger service fee (PSF) to the government.

Also it acts as a good marketing gimmick, since airlines are free to announce that their ticket charge is Re. 1 (or the like), while they actually are bound to pocket at-least Rs. 1100 in the deal. Is this right? Ethically not surely, legally I don’t know. But I believe, if it’s wrong ethically, it can’t be on the right side of the law either.

What’s happening with the surcharge (tax as some airlines like to call it) scene in domestic circuit?

Airlines have decided to increase fuel surcharge by Rs 150 in first week of August 07. Only last month, they had increased fuel surcharge by Rs 50. Starting next week, air passengers will have to pay Rs 1,100 as fuel surcharge, up from Rs 950 last month. With this, the tax and surcharge component in an air ticket can vary between 50% and 100% of the total airfare.

Taxes and surcharge can add up to anywhere between Rs 1,400 and Rs 1,600 per ticket, depending on the airline. While the state-owned carrier Indian does not charge any congestion fee, most airlines charge it under various heads.

Tax and surcharge include passenger service fee (Rs 225), fuel surcharge (Rs 1,100), transaction surcharge (Rs 50-100) and the congestion fee (Rs 150).

Interestingly, over the past one year, taxes and surcharge have in-creased from around Rs 750 to cross the Rs 1,400-mark. During the same time, airlines have kept their base fares competitive with expansion in seat capacity. Taking into account that the fact that the passenger service fee has remained constant (Government’s share), all the increment has actually been in the surcharge component.

A review of some airlines operating on the domestic circuit is listed below:

Jet & Jet Lite : Rs. 1475. This is over and above on what they call as base fare. Since there is no breakup of this figure available on the website (I couldn’t find it even after thorough struggle), when one books the ticket, I would try to put it in perspective based on this so-called tax collected by all airlines. Rs 1475 splits into Rs. 1100 for fuel surcharge component, Rs. 225 as Passenger service fee (the government component) and Rs. 150 is passenger service fee or congestion surcharge, whatever the company wants to call it. Congestion surcharge is levied irrespective of sector of booking or whether there is congestion at the airport or not. Point to note is the entire Rs. 1475 is listed as a tax by the company, whereas the tax component is only Rs. 225 out of the entire fee.
Indian Airlines & Air India: Rs. 1325. Break up: Rs. 1100 as fuel surcharge and Rs. 225 for passenger service fee. At-least in government carriers this is listed as such (nor in the garb of tax).
Spice Jet. Rs. 1575. The booking page has a link for break-up of taxes. It reads and I quote “breakdown of the taxes and fees applied to your purchase” Rs. 1100 – Fuel Surcharge; Rs 225 – Passenger Service Fee; Rs. 100 – Transaction Surcharge (Whatever it means) and Rs. 150 –Congestion Surcharge. Again I must point out; this airline also claims that the total tax collected is Rs. 1575. Also congestion surcharge is levied irrespective of sector of booking or whether there is congestion at the airport or not.
Kingfisher Airlines: Rs 1475: Estimated Break up (Not given on the website): Rs. 1100 as fuel surcharge and Rs. 225 for passenger service fee and Congestion Surcharge of Rs. 150. Collected as Tax from consumers. Congestion surcharge is levied irrespective of sector of booking or whether there is congestion at the airport or not.
Air Deccan: Rs 1475: Break up: Rs. 1100 as fuel surcharge and Rs. 225 for passenger service fee and Congestion Surcharge of Rs. 150. Collected as Tax again from the consumers. Congestion surcharge is levied irrespective of sector of booking or whether there is congestion at the airport or not.
Go-Air: Rs. 1575. Breakup listed: Rs. 1100 – Fuel Surcharge; Rs 225 – Passenger Service Fee; Rs. 100 – Passenger Handling Fee (Whatever it means again; I would not liked to be handled anyway) and Rs. 150 –Congestion Surcharge.
Indigo: Rs. 1575. Breakup listed: Rs. 1100 – Fuel Surcharge; Rs 225 – Passenger Service Fee; Rs. 100 – Transaction Surcharge; and Rs. 150 –Congestion Surcharge. Total amount listed as tax.

What are the tax implications? Is someone evading tax?

As can be seen from the above analysis, actual tax collected on each ticket is Rs. 225 only, which is passed on to the government irrespective of the ticket cost (basic fare). To the next question, in my opinion, airlines are evading tax, since it is being collected in the name of tax.

Is there a scope of rigging this?

As is very logical, fuel spent in a flight depends on various factors like flight distance, flight model (weight, efficiency etc.), altitude at which it flies, flying time, speed of the aircraft, age of the aircraft etc. and thus is variable. Hence, the surcharge would also be variable, since it would be a fraction of fuel spent. Keeping all other factors constant (same aircraft, altitude at which flight flies, its speed and other similar variables), fuel surcharge would thus be constant for a particular sector. It can’t be same for different airlines for sure. The only way this would be a constant for all airlines is by collusion or cartelization, which is the case of my article.

Cartelization
The Competition Act, 2002 (the Act) defines cartels as agreements between enterprises (including association of enterprises) not to compete on price, product (including goods and services) or customers. The objective of a cartel is to raise price above competitive levels, resulting in injury to consumers and to the economy.

For the consumers, cartelization results in higher prices, poor quality and less or no choice. A cartel is said to exist when two or more enterprises enter into an explicit or implicit agreement to fix prices, to limit production and supply, to allocate market share or sales quotas, or to engage in collusive bidding or bid-rigging in one or more markets.

Some of the conditions that are conducive to cartelization are:

high concentration - few competitors
high entry and exit barriers
homogeneity of the products (similar products)
similar production costs
excess capacity
high dependence of the consumers on the product
history of collusion

As can be seen from the above, almost all the above conditions co-exist in the aviation sector and which have resulted in a cartel where in all airlines (including state run) are fleecing customers under the garb of FUEL SURCHARGE, which as illustrated in an example above is a variable and can’t be same for all airlines unless, they collude.

What are the international practices?

Looking fuel surcharge in an international context shows that this practice is followed across, but with a difference, it is variable (as a percentage of fixed fare) and goes up as well as down based on the ATF prices, and is applicable where ever the fares are fixed. But there are aberrations which are often reported in international media.

A few days back a nexus was unearthed between Virgin Atlantic and British Airways. They too were charging a similar fuel surcharge on their long haul flights. British Airways was fined nearly $550 million by British and US authorities for fixing the prices of fuel surcharges on long-haul flights on Aug 1, 2007. Virgin Atlantic, although an equal partner in crime, escaped since it turned approver, and got the immunity, making a mockery of the law.

I demand an impartial and unequivocal inquiry into the fuel surcharge fixing by various airlines operating in Indian aviation sector to unearth the implicit nexus and cartel operating to fleece unsuspecting customers.

Your comments as always are welcome :)

The Man who planted Trees

2007-08-15T17:20:00.000+05:30

If you have visited this page, go watch this movie. Homme qui plantait des arbres, L' (1987). The English title being “The Man Who Planted Trees”. See this beautiful picture today here. It is ranked No. 1 on IMDb in the short movies category. If you can't see the video above, go to this google video link to see this amazing inspirational movie. A must watch.

Consumer Activist in me is Alive :)

2007-05-25T09:39:00.000+05:30

Really happy to see a piece of consumer acitivism started by this blog has had a desired effect within Indian Govt.

Sample this news report quoted from the Central Chronicle:

"" MRTPC cracks whip on six erring airlines

Agencies New Delhi, May 23: Cracking the whip on airlines that bait customers with low fares but retain the amount in case of cancellations, the country's anti-monopoly watchdog has issued notices to six carriers, including state-run Indian.
Acting on a recommendation made by its investigative arm - Director General of Investigation and Registration (DGIR) - the Monopolies and Restrictive Trade Practices Commission has started proceedings against the airlines and asked them to file replies.
After serving the notices of enquiry, the commission started hearing the matter earlier this month, during which it was to frame issues for further judicial enquiry. However, it deferred the exercise as some of the respondents had sought more time to file replies. According to sources, DGIR, in its report to the MRTPC, said that refund policies of Indian, Go Air, Air Sahara, Air Deccan, Spicejet and alliance air were unfair and prejudicial to the public interest.
These airlines allow their customers to travel by air at affordable rates but unjustified costs were imposed on them if they were to cancel their tickets, the sources added. The DGIR observed that such a practice was an attempt by the airlines to enrich themselves by making gullible customers forfeit the ticket amount, the sources said. Sources said the DGIR report lambasted the airlines stating that the method adopted by them through introduction of schemes of low rates of tickets to promote their sales amounted to an unfair trade practices under section 36 a of the MRTP Act, 1969.
Passengers who are unable to travel on the pre-determined date for which the tickets were purchased are put to loss. As per the DGIR report, the terms and condition of forfeiture of money on cancellation paid by the passengers were not in public interest. These airlines should provide for the refund after deduction of cancellation charges, sources said quoting the DGIR report.
The commission had directed DGIR on June 19, 2006 to look into the issue and collect details after getting some complaints regarding the cancellation policy of airlines offering low fares. While inspecting the cancellation policy of government- controlled Indian, DGIR found that under its low fare schemes, it was not refunding any amount.
It also informed that under the low fare scheme, there is a condition on non-refundable ticket which is explained to all customers in advance prior to booking of tickets. As regards low-cost carrier, Go Air, DGIR found that it had no refund policy if cancellation was done 24 hours before the flight. While probing Spicejet, it found that upon cancellation, the carrier retained the money with itself for one year, but allowed the passenger to fly at a future date. But then, this amount would be forfeited in case it was not used within the stipulated period. In Alliance Air, DGIR found that under its special scheme where low cost fares were offered, the company was not refunding any amount. The airline argued that it already explained the terms and condition to the customers prior to booking.

The report also said that leading low cost airline Air Deccan charged extra money from its customers for advancing or postponing their journey. ""

http://www.centralchronicle.com/20070524/2405161.htm ""

Links pointing to the same story by various leading dailies are listed here:
Economic Times, The Times of India, The Telegraph, The Financial Express amongst others

Most of the airlines argue that they inform consumers in fine print that the money they spend on tickets is non -refundable, and yet consumers opt for them hence they are not at fault.

A simple analogy to that would be a thief going to a bank after informing the police and the bank authorities that he is going to rob the bank and then expecting them to let the thief rob the bank. Since the thief has already informed the bank and the police, they should not stop him, irrespective of the fact, that what he is doing is illegal. :)

Saturdays and all that

2007-02-25T09:33:00.000+05:30

Ever wondered which the most special day in the week is? For me, the most treasured one would be a Saturday. Not because it comes after a Friday or before a Sunday, but that it’s a day which is a holiday for most, half day for some and FULL DAY working for people like me. Lately I have started viewing Saturdays with a great respect.

A little mathematical working shows that if I were to continue working on Saturdays I would have worked two months extra in one year (52 days). A further no-brainer-analysis shows that I would have worked one year extra in six years. I am already six months up!! Scary thought… The above analysis has given a totally new perspective on how I view a Saturday and the above mentioned respect is the result. Happy Holidaying on “Sats”.

AIR -BUS - Blogging at 35000 ft

2007-01-16T20:51:00.000+05:30

I thought I will pen down a couple of thoughts while I am 16th in the queue to land at New-Delhi Airport. 3 minutes a flight would make it atleast 45 minutes before we would be given a permission to land.

This makes me think, with this scaricity of space, time and landing spots, second airport in Delhi's vicinity is inevitable, assuming that we are operating at the maximum efficiency in the existing setup. 45 minutes of extra flight time would amount to 3000 lt of excess fuel burnt. Come to think of it, that's an extra 9kg of CO2 emitted into the air because of crippled infrastructure at our airports. Assuming 50 such landings at delhi airport, we are wasting (burning) 150000 lts of fuel at one airport each day (and 450 kg of CO2-- Who says India is environmentally responsible in any case). Add Mumbai airport's plight here, approximately equally crowded and we have 300kl of fuel wasted daily. The monthly figures are too astounding to even think of.

and the aircraft (Indian) that I am traveling in is ACTUALLY AN AIR "BUS" - Haryana road transport kinds...

Toilets are unclean
Air hostess come from reserved quotas and speak spastic English
Captain welcomes the passengers 1.5 hrs into a 2 hrs flight
The window shades don’t exist at some windows
Seat cushions are sagging
Seat reclines on its own…..

Is Indian consumer willing to pay that extra fare to get these bare minimum services or is he content with what he gets so long as he gets the lowest fare. I guess it's neither of the two. It's just a lack of regulatory authority in this sector.

Also as competition hots up, (as it already has)- the consumers would have the power to choose the best services at the lowest prices and it should not come as a surprise to the age old carrier that it's market share has shrunk from over 50% in 2000 to approx 25% now..

Quick Idea Again

2006-12-14T12:54:00.000+05:30

Hey long time since I posted an original post... so here it goes... it's another quick idea....for fund generation for some social cause (NGO's like AID, CRY, Helpage may benefit.... :)

It's an extension of a thought already in practice by most of these NGOs, which is printing greeting cards and then selling them to generate funds for social causes....

While listening to news last night, I was surprized (an understatement) to hear that about 30000 couples are tying the nupital knot on 14-december...another 35000 would do the same on 13-Feb.

Given the above two facts, can not these NGOs take on the business plan of printing wedding cards.... the wedding card market in India stand at Rs. 5000 Crore...(Yes that's the figure)

Source: http://www.tribuneindia.com/2006/20061126/society.htm#3

I am sure a lot of socially consious youth would rather purchase these cards for prints over any other.... This I presume is a vacuum yet to be filled. This market is yet to be segmented on environmental sensitivities/socially responsive lines... Think about it...

Goons Again :)

2006-12-09T18:51:00.000+05:30

A friend of mine mailed me this article long time back. Thanks to Gmail, I was able to retreive it... This article is a vivid discription of Hyderabadi roads....It's a description of goons who were introduced a couple of posts earlier. So here it goes : )

"" For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for survival. They are applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer.

Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company. The hints are as follows: Do we drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is "both". Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the generally intended direction.

Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself except for a belief in reincarnation; the other drivers are not in any better position. Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back.

Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.

Blowing your horn is not sign of protest as in some countries. We horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts),or just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar.

Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rainwater to recede when over ground traffic meets underground drainage.

Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success.

Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi): The result of a collision between a rickshaw and an automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare. After careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton's laws of motion en-route to school.

Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules depicted in the film Ben Hur, and are licensed to irritate.

Mopeds: The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are often "mopped" off the tarmac.

Leaning Tower of Passes: Most bus passengers are given free passes and during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of these buses by a width of three passengers.

One-way Street: These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in their otherwise drab lives.

Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type. Least I sound hypercritical; I must add a positive point also.

Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speed breaker"; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left untarred for easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting.

Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience for those with the mental make up of Genghis Khan. In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes.

Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and with the peg of illicit arrack (alcohol) he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a naught. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously ""

Engineers - Touchy Feely - Another one by Chetan Bhagat

2006-11-26T10:51:00.000+05:30

I remember the incident - I was in a restaurant, and one girl in our group was especially charming. So I, like any other male, tried to put on a wooing act. You know the routine, a nanosecond extra eye contact, a few more nods to whatever she says, and attempts to throw in those one-liners which you know you wouldn't if she weren't there.

And it seemed to be working. She leaned forward when she spoke to me, and every now and again, we'd have a small conversation of our own, separate from our group. She laughed at my approach with the fork and knife, and I teased her about her hair band, which had little teddy bears. Yes, we were flirting. A while later, she asked me the question - what did I study? I said engineering, without any particular meaning attached to it. And then like a cold metal rail, she went stiff. My jokes weren't funny any more. Her eyes wandered to everyone else. What was it?
Why? Why? Why?

Two days later, I still couldn't get over my great start that had dissipated listlessly upon mentioning my education. Engineer? What was wrong with that? My mom had wanted me to become one since I was five! I had to call her. 'So what happened to you that day, hot and cold, missie?' And then she said, trying to be nice, 'Well, it's just that I am skeptical about engineers as friends. I don't know, they can be, you know, very logical and everything... not very touchy feely'.

Not touchy-feely. Now what the heck did that mean? Well, she obviously did not mean it literally, since girls don't really suggest that sort of stuff, certainly not in the first meeting across the table. I guessed it was something to do with feelings, sort of having an emotional side. The stereotype being, the nerdy guy who sees relationships like laws of physics, to whom love is just a bunch of chemicals going crazy in your brain, and getting to know a person means obtaining their bio-data.

It's time to set the record straight.

It's true that a lot of what engineers study (and they end up studying quite a lot), has to do with formulaes, laws and numbers. No matter how hard we try, some of the vocabulary we read all day gets into our language. So when my mother said, 'Are you getting married next year or not?' I was liable to say, 'Well, at this moment in time, the probability is relatively low,' and felt it was completely normal to say it. And when my sister went sari shopping and couldn't explain the shade she wanted, I told the shopkeeper the percentages of pink, orange and red in the sari.

Yet, ladies, I don't think we're bad at relationships, love and getting to know people. We too, can be touchy-feely, as that is part of our education as well. The reason for this is that most engineering students live in the ultimate educator - boy's hostels. Now, let me explain how this plays into this 'touchy-feely' thing. Relationships. Imagine eating, sleeping, brushing your teeth, bathing (ok rarely this one) and partying with the same people all the time. So, when you are kicking that bathroom door down for the tenth time, or when you stand in line for 'gulab-jamuns' in the mess, and when you are done with the vodka bottle and sharing all your secrets, you know it is good practice. Yes, hostels maketh the man.

So, next time you are in a flirtatious situation with the techno types, go on, flirt a bit more. Of course, I am biased towards my kind, but if you find the conversation turning too geeky, just ask them, 'So, what were your hostel days like?' and chances are, you'll see a heart behind the calculator. Coming back to my missie, I thought of what would make me win her over. Flowers... too cheesy. Music... don't know her taste (nor trust mine). Teddy bears... don't even go there. Desperate for some good lines, I just turned it right back at her. 'Yes, I know what you are saying about engineers. The thing is, unless people with depth like you start hanging out with us, we won't get any better. Can you meet me some time for some touchy/feely... oops, I mean coffee/tea?' She giggled. When they giggle, you have won. Hence proved.

My Stand Vindicated :)

2006-11-17T08:56:00.000+05:30

Some time back, I had raised issues pertaining to unfair trade practices and high headedness by various airline operators on this website.

In a snapshot, the issues that I had raised were:

One, A consumer cannot be charged for a service one has not availed. In case of cancellation of air tickets booked under apex fare, the airline operator has no right to charge the consumer for the fare already paid. This fare should be refunded. In airlines like Indian, if tickets are booked under check fares, consumer is not liable to any refund, which is gross fraud. In any case, since no service has been utilized, there cannot be a service tax liability to the consumer. This is clearly not the practice in this industry functioning without a regulator. I am not sure if our Hon'ble minister of Civil Aviation Mr. Praful Patel is even aware/sensitive to these issues, since his tickets are a liability of Indian Government
Two, a lot of airline operatiors, operating in Indian skies like Spicejet, GO Air, Go Indigo etc follow monopolistic and restrictive trade practices. After a ticket is cancelled by a consumer, the refund is not issued at all. They issue credit notes to be used in the same airline in future in a stipulated period, Post this period this refund amount is liable to lapse. This again amounts to gross fraud going unchecked in Indian skies.

But I am sure this is going to change soon, with media playing the role of a regulator to rein in such high handedness.

Almost 60% of the hits that I receive on this blog pertain to this particular blog entry. After six odd months, when I took up this issue with various forums, my stand has been vindicated by none other than MRTPC.

Please go through this article reproduced above wherein Spicejet has been issued a show cause on why action should not be taken against it for following monopolistic and restrictive practices, which are clearly unethical. This article has been reproduced from the Hindu news update service. Emphasis has been provided in the article and may not have been there in the original news article.

""Spicejet under MRTPC scanner
New Delhi, Nov 17. (PTI): The Monopolies and Restrictive Trade Practices Commission (MRTPC) has initiated two cases of unfair trade practice against low-cost carrier Spicejet.
While one case pertains to the carrier's refusal to refund the amount of air tickets on cancellation, another is for not adopting a fair method for booking seats at a special price of Rs 99 on its first anniversary.
The notices of enquiry has been issued on the basis of preliminary investigation reports submitted by MRTPC's investigative arm Director General of Investigation and Registration.
Acting on a complaint by a passenger, DGIR in an investigation found that Spicejet refused to refund the amount of air ticket on cancellation as it had adopted a practice not to refund the booking amount.
The terms of carriage of the company provided that the booking amount was non-refundable. However, if the ticket is cancelled two hours prior to departure the balance amount subject to cancellation fee is retained in a credit shell up to one year, which can be used as payment for future travel.
On the other hand, cancellation within two hours departure or failure to check in for its flight at least 30 minutes before the scheduled departure will result in the fare being forfeited, it said.
In the second case, DGIR said Spicejet did not adopt a fair method for booking tickets while providing its anniversary offer of Rs 99 a seat through the internet.
In its investigation on the case relating to Spicejet's special anniversary offer, DGIR noticed that there was an overwhelming response and traffic for ticket booking increased manifold on its website, which made it very slow. This resulted in failure to complete booking by Internet users.
Though the users were calling the reservation centre for booking through the telephone also, the airline did not give correct information to the complainant that booking the tickets had started over telephone also, DGIR said.
It also said, Spicejet failed to display the information on its website that prospective customers could book tickets over the telephone because of disruption of Internet booking.
The services of the respondent company have been found to be deficient in this respect, DGIR said, while requesting the Commission to institute an inquiry against the carrier.
Accepting DGIR's two reports, the Commission instituted an enquiry in both the cases and issued notices to Spicejet.
The airline has been given time till January to respond to the notices of the enquiry. ""

Here's a link to the story: http://www.hindu.com/thehindu/holnus/001200611170313.htm

Hyderabad

2006-11-03T20:22:00.000+05:30

Every place has a poster boy, an image, or something that sticks to you, wherever you go. As of now, Hyderabad, for me is a city of "Mills & Goons"

If you are confused "Mills",as they (Hyderabadis) call it are afternoon suppers containing rice in heavy dosage. Every thing else (Non-Rice) like Dosa etc. are Tiffins." So every day, everywhere you would find Mills for assuaging your wicked hunger.

"Goons" are people of this city who meet you every time you step onto the road zipping their bikes, cars, autos in as random a way as could have been envisaged in the "Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy". These people learnt their driving skills on tricycles while they were young in public parks. After the government of Andhra Pradesh started erecting buildings in places of lush green parks, these people started plying on roads on bigger vehicles, now that the parks were nowhere to be found. But the difference was that these people had grown by over 20 years in this evolutionary process and still believed that entire Hyderabad is a park and what they are riding is a tricycle. They will take U turns on the over bridges, without giving heed that this was a bridge meant for public and not a park where they are moving a tricycle etc. So you don't have any public parks left in Hyderabad barring a few commercialized fountain parks which are so few and so small that you blink and you miss :). So the image of Hyderabad that I have in my mind that is firmly etched now is that of "MILLS AND GOONS"

Nice Ad :)

2006-09-03T09:55:00.000+05:30

Interesting Advertisement I came across while surfing ...It reads Cool down your anger.. :)

Somebody's Reading this blog :)

2006-08-21T22:48:00.000+05:30

A friend of mine forwarded me this.... It seems that somone out there is reading this blog for sure.. :) and is being inspired too... Although I would have liked this inspiration to go the social way as written here

Nevertheless :)

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http://www.business-standard.com/common/storypage.php?leftnm=8&subLeft=2&autono=102103&tab=r

Pay in patience for free mobile calls Nayantara Rai / New Delhi August 21, 2006

Forget low call tariffs, cheap text messages, package offers, and discount plans. You could soon be paying nothing for making calls from your mobile phone, provided you have the patience to listen to 30-45 second ad jingles or commercials before a call goes through. The service, christened “sponsored calls”, is set to be offered soon by an Indian mobile operator, and will be similar to the one launched last year in the US.

In the final stages of preparation, the marketing initiative is expected to be offered on local calls made within a network. However, Arvind Rao, chief executive officer and founder of OnMobile, which developed this value-added service, declined to name the operator that intends to launch the service.

A senior executive with Bharti Airtel said the company had not made up its mind on offering the service “immediately.” In other instances of direct marketing on mobile phones entering a new dimension, mobile operators will soon be offering options that allow a mobile subscriber to choose a company’s signature tune as his ring tone. Callers to that particular number will listen to a jingle that sells the company’s product, or promotes its brand. “With a person receiving at least 10 to 15 calls every day, this form of direct marketing is bound to create a lasting impression,” he said. While Rao declined to name the service provider launching this particular scheme, he emphasised that it was not the same operator that was launching sponsored calls.

At present, officials of corporates such as ITC, Fortis, and Ford India, and mobile operators like Airtel, Hutch and Idea have customised music as their ring tones.

Meanwhile, Airtel has tested another marketing initiative involving 45 restaurants in Bangalore. Subscribers in the vicinity receive short message services from Airtel, offering discounts at the restaurants.

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My Stupid Suicide Plan - Chetan Bhagat

2006-06-27T20:24:00.000+05:30

Reproducing an article written by Chetan Bhagat :)

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My Stupid Suicide Plan

Last week, an IITian committed suicide. People who commit suicide do it when they feel there's no future. But wait, isn't IIT the one place where a bright and shining future is a foregone conclusion? It just doesn't add up, does it? Why would a young, hardworking, bright student who has the world ahead of him do something like this? But the answer is this-in our constant reverence for the great institution (and I do believe IITs are great), we forget the dark side. And the dark side is that the IITs are afflicted by the quintessential Indian phenomenon of academic pressure, probably the highest in the world.

I can rant about the educational system and how it requires serious fixing, or I can address the immediate-try my best to prevent such suicides. For this column I have chosen the latter, and I do so with a personal story.

News of a suicide always brings back one particular childhood memory. I was 14 years old when I first seriously contemplated suicide. I had done badly in chemistry in the Class X half yearly exam. I was an IIT aspirant, and 68% was nowhere near what an IIT candidate should be getting. I don't know what had made me screw up the exam, but I did know this, I was going to kill myself. The only debate was about method. Ironically, chemistry offered a way. I had read about copper sulphate, and that it was both cheap and poisonous. Copper sulphate was available at the kirana store. I had it all worked out.

My rationale for killing myself was simple-nobody loved me, my chemistry score was awful, I had no future and what difference would it make to the world if I was not there. I bought the copper sulphate for two rupees-probably the cheapest exit strategy in the world.

I didn't do it for two reasons. One, I had a casual chat with the aunty next door about copper sulphate, and my knowledgeable aunty knew about a woman who had died that way. She said it was the most painful death possible, all your veins burst and you suffer for hours. This tale made my insides shudder. Second, on the day I was to do it, I noticed a street dog outside my house being teased by the neighborhood kids as he hunted for scraps of food. Nobody loved him. It would make no difference to the world if the dog wasn't there. And I was pretty sure that its chemistry score would be awful. Yet, the dog wasn't trotting off to the kirana store. He was only interested in figuring out a strategy for his next meal. And when he was full, he merely curled up in a corner with one eye open, clearly content and not giving a damn about the world. If he wasn't planning to die anytime soon what the hell was I ranting about? I threw the copper sulphate in the bin. It was the best two bucks I ever wasted.

So why did I tell you this story? Because sometimes the pressure gets too much; like it did for the IITian who couldn't take it no more. On the day he took that dreadful decision, his family and friends were shattered, and India lost a wonderful, bright child. And as the silly but true copper sulphate story tells you-it could happen to any of us or those around us.

So please be on the lookout, if you see a distressed young soul, lend a supportive, non-judgmental ear. When I look back, I thank that aunt and that dog for unwittingly saving my life. If God wanted us to take our own life, he would have provided a power off button. He didn't, so have faith and let his plan for you unfold. Because no matter how tough life gets and how much it hurts, if street dogs don't give up, there is no reason why we, the smart species, should. Makes sense right?

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The art of Cake Making.. Err..

2006-06-17T20:19:00.000+05:30

Got to share this …
There was this rural wholesaler meet that I was to organize (Yes this is what I have to d0 too as a part of the job :)…These wholesalers were given some targets for a period culminating into this entertainment cum dinner meet titled "Summer Dhamaka", where we also revitalized a brand.
Now most of the arrangements are done by a third party leaving you little space of innovation/improvisation…
I decided during this meet we should honor some loyal and long standing rural stockists…Our Partners in Progress as we call them… To do this, we ordered a really big cake (4 Kg) to be cut by these gentlemen. What came as a rude shock/surprise when we opened the cake was this

Ltd. (I) Palmolive Colgate
Meet Wholesaler CTP to U Welcomes
Dhamaka Summer

Don’t think too much, u won’t be able to figure out. Actually, what had happened was the person who wrote on the cake was a literate Muslim who knew only Urdu script. So while we ordered the cake he took notes in Urdu and then replicated it… :).. Beat That.. ;)

Disclaimer

2006-04-13T15:27:00.000+05:30

Now that I have started a crusade against some customer unfriendly organizations, I thought the time is ripe for me to add a disclaimer in my blog. So here it goes:

THE OPINIONS/VIEWS/THOUGHTS EXPRESSED HERE ARE MY OWN AND ARE NOT THAT OF MY EMPLOYER. I HOPE THAT THE THOUGHTS/IDEAS EXPRESSED IN THIS BLOG WILL OCCASIONALLY BE SEEN AS INFORMATIVE, AND THAT THEY WILL STIR DIFFERENT WAYS OF THINKING. LASTLY, IF YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH THE THOUGHTS EXPRESSED IN THIS BLOG, THERE IS A SIMPLE SOLUTION AND I THINK YOU ARE OLD AND WISE ENOUGH TO WORK OUT THE POINT I AM MAKING.

:)

Cheating Customers in absence of Regulator: for Airline Sector

2006-04-13T15:11:00.000+05:30

There has been an incidence of low cost –other airlines after opening up of air travel sector. Emergence of low cost airlines has brought back the purchasing power in the hands of the customer. This statement is untrue as you would find out once you read out the facts in the text below.
This is a small compilation of the fine print that you might like to read before you book an airline ticket. God forbid!! If there were a change in your plans, you would stand to loose out heavily to customer un-friendly high-headed approach and unfair trade practices adopted by the airlines in India. This all goes right under the nose of the government. Either there is no regulator to check these unfair and one-sided rules or it is clearly sleeping. If you thought only low-cost and private operators do this, think again, since the public-sector carriers are the worst of the lot
Let’s look at the fare policies of few airlines operating in India.
Air Deccan :Fare Rules & Policies
Booking Modification
     -  Rescheduling of the ticket is only possible ahead of 4 hours prior to flight departure. No change is possible within 4 hours of the flight departure. Within 4 hours before departure, it is only possible to cancel the reservation. Rescheduling fee of Rs. 200 per passenger will be charged for any postponements/advancements.
     -  While Rescheduling, if the applicable basic fare is more than the current basic fare, the difference amount will be charged to the passenger along with a Rescheduling Fee of Rs. 200 per passenger (either advance/postpone). If the applicable basic fare is less than the current basic fare, the difference amount WILL NOT BE REFUNDED to the passenger and the Rescheduling Fee of Rs. 200 per passenger (either advance/postpone) will be charged. (Emphasis provided)
     -  AT ANY POINT OF TIME, THERE WILL NEVER BE A REFUND IF THE APPLICABLE BASIC FARE IS LESS THAN THE CURRENT BASIC FARE.
  Cancellation
     -  Cancellations over the internet are allowed for passengers who booked through the internet and through the call center or through other modes where the passenger had used credit card for purchase of the ticket.
     -  Cash refunds are also made by the Airport Agent at the Air Deccan Airport Counter, if the passenger has purchased his or her ticket by paying cash at the airport.
     -  A passenger will be able to cancel a booking at Any Airport or Call Center if the booking is made at any other Point Of Sale. Any other Point Of Sale includes Travel Agent, Airport, Call Center, Web Passenger, Corporates and City Office. The Passenger will be able to cancel his bookings and the amount to be refunded at that point of time, will be stored against the PNR. The Passenger can then, later, go back to the Original Source of Booking (where the ticket was bought from) and Collect the Same amount of Refund.
This seems to be the fairest of the lot, as all this fine print is available on the ticket-booking page, and you would need to confirm agreement to the above rules before your ticket is booked. But, if you would have observed there are two examples of the unfair approach that I talked about.

You would not be refunded back any money that you save on the difference between the booked fare and re-scheduled fare.

No cancellation charge has been mentioned here, which I found out to be 10% of the booking charge elsewhere on the website, if you cancel your ticket 72 hours prior to the departure. Theoretically this could go up to a very high amount.

Fare Rules: Go Air
This fare is non-refundable, except as provided in GoAir’s Terms & Conditions of Carriage. Check-in commences 2 hours prior to scheduled departure. Failure to show up for the flight at least 40 minutes prior to the scheduled departure, will result in the fare being forfeited
Subject to availability and payment of all applicable amounts, changes can be made to your Booking as follows.
Changes to the origin and/or destination of travel and Customer name changes are not permitted.
Changes to date or time can be made to your booking if you notify us atleast 6 hours prior to the scheduled departure time by visiting either our website, our Airport ticketing counter or calling GoAir Customer Call Centre
Changes to your reservation will result in a fee of Rs.500 per person per sector per event, when rebooked through the website and Rs.550 per person per sector per event when rebooked by Go Customer Callcentre or Aiport ticketing office. (Emphasis provided)
Changes to the reservation will result in the above fee plus any difference in the fare between the original fare paid and fare for the revised booking. At the time, your Booking is changed you must pay the difference (if any) if the fare you originally purchased is lower than the fare available on the date of the change. If the new fare is lower than the originally booked fare – the balance of the original booking amount and the new amount (including rebooking fee) will be retained in a credit shell for a period of 6 months where the passenger may use it as payment towards future travel. This fee is subject to change without notice.
Cancellations to bookings may be made up to six (6) hours prior to the scheduled departure time for a fee of Rs 500 per person, per segment per event. The balance of the original booking amount will be retained in a credit shell for a period of 6 months where the passenger may use it as payment towards future travel. This fee is subject to change without notice. (Emphasis provided)
In case of cancellation of a booking, made by a Go channel partner, refund has to be collected from that respective Go Channel.
All fares are subject to change until purchased.
You are most likely to miss the fine print while you book the ticket in this airline, since there are is a large laundry list of terms and conditions you are told to agree to before you make the booking. Look at the unfair and glaring monopolistic policies carried out by this airline.

You would be charged Rs. 500 for ticket cancellation when it has been booked on the internet. Now, the catch is that you would not be refunded back your money, which you get to find out when you further read down the list, as this announcement comes after a gap of another few points.

The money would be given to you as a credit note, which is only redeemable with Go-Air at a later point in time, but not later than six months. So come what may you are bound travel them. There are restrictive policies in play. I don’t know the legal standpoint on this but as a consumer I am sure they go against a consumer’s interest.

Rules: Kingfisher Airlines
Taxes are indicated separately from the basic fare. Taxes are charged to all guests, whether adult, child or infant. Cancellation: Cancellations are allowed upto one (1) hour prior to departure. The cancellation charge is INR 500. Only taxes will be refunded if a guest is a No Show or if the booking is cancelled within one (1) hour to departure. All refunds will be in the form of a credit note. (Emphasis provided) Seat Release Charge: In the event a booked seat is released due to a rebooking, a fee of INR 200 will be charged as the Seat Release Charge for each modified segment in addition to any applicable difference in fare. No monetary refund will be allowed. A credit note will be issued by the system for the balance amount to be refunded. This credit note can be used for future bookings on Kingfisher Airlines. Credit notes will be valid for 12 months from the date of issue of the credit note. (Emphasis provided)
I thought Mr. Mallya would be fairer than his counterparts, the way he champions the cause of consumers but I was unfortunately mistaken. His airlines also follows the restrictive trade practice of passing on a credit note, rather than refunding back the money, the only difference being the credit note is valid for 12 months instead 6 as in the case of Go Air. Mind you, this is after deduction of Rs. 500 as a cancellation charge.
Rules: Indian Airlines
Rules of Preponement:
Preponement is not allowed for sectors booked in Easy Fares/Unchecked Fares scheme. (Emphasis provided)
You can prepone any of your journeys (booked under Normal Class) at least 2 hours prior to the departure of the flight.
Preponement is allowed only once whatever the booking type consists of.
Incase of any problem related to link after submitting request for Preponement, please check the status of your booking from “View and Print” option through “My Bookings” and also through reservation status link. incase of any queries please contact helpdesk@indianairlines.sifymail.net.
Rules of cancellation:
No part cancellation is allowed.
If the booking is made for more than 1 passenger and wants to cancel the booking for only one passenger then the booking made for both the passengers will have to be cancelled completely and a fresh booking can be made for the other passenger.
If the booking consists of return journey and the cancellation is required for only one sector then the complete booking made will have to be cancelled completely and a fresh booking can be made as required.
Cancellation process can be done only at least 2 hours prior to the departure of the Onward Journey.
Your booking will be immediately cancelled once you are asked to reconfirm it. The refund action will be taken by IAL helpdesk only after the commencement of the return journey as the case may be.
Cancellation of booking already preponed by the passenger is also allowed.
Cancellation of booking taken in Unchecked Fares scheme is not allowed even a part of the journey is made on normal fare basis. For any queries, please send an e-mail to helpdesk@indianairlines.sifymail.net quoting order number, PNR number and journey details. (Emphasis provided)
Incase of any problem related to link after submitting request for cancellation, please check the status of your booking from “View and Print” option through “My Bookings” and incase of any queries please contact helpdesk@indianairlines.sifymail.net. (Emphasis provided)
I was most disappointed when I read the above terms and conditions, which you are bound to miss on one of the most customer-unfriendly websites you would come across. The T&Cs are also as confusing as it gets.

Preponement is not allowed for sectors booked in Easy Fares/Unchecked Fares scheme. Assuming without admitting that this were fair, nowhere in the entire booking process is a consumer told about the class of booking i.e. Easy fares or unchecked fares. So a consumer is left to figure out to his rude shock later that he cannot do anything with the booking once made.

The shock gets aggravated when I tell you that this public sector airlines believes in charging for service that you never used/utilized. If you have not figured out how till now. Read out the last part of the rules, no cancellation is possible when booking is done in the unchecked fares. This as I said you would never get to know, till you call up their Help line call center with your booked PNR No. Which is when your general knowledge about fare charged in a particular sector is challenged. You are told, you should have known the normal fare is more than Rs. 10,000 in this sector and anything less and your money is forfeited.

When a public-sector company is expected to lead the way in terms of customer friendly rules and it does this, you are only left to, as one of my friends puts it, just turn your head 90 degree up and pray.

Terms & Conditions: Spice Jet Fare Rules (details)
(WEB)

Fare Restrictions

Bookings made through Travel Agents a non-refundable Transaction Fee will be collected directly by them.

- This Booking is non-refundable. Failure to show up for the flight at least 30 minutes prior to the scheduled departure will result in the fare being forfeited.
- Changes to the date or time can be made to your Booking if you notify us at least 2 hours before the scheduled departure time by calling the SpiceJet Sales & Reservation Centre or at the airport or through the SpiceJet internet web site at www.spicejet.com if the booking was originally made on our web site.
- Guest name changes are not permitted.
- Changes to your reservation will result in a fee of Rs. 600 per person, per oneway and per change plus any difference in the fare between the original fare paid and the fare for the revised booking. (Emphasis provided)
- All fares are subject to change until purchased.
- Our full terms & conditions are displayed at www.spicejet.com
The standards of customer friendly norms have stooped so low that for once you start feeling that terms as followed by Spice-Jet are one of the fairer ones.

In fact, you don’t realize that invariably you pay a transaction cum cancellation charge of Rs. 500- to Rs. 600. All this when the airline never takes a passenger seat unfilled. Thus there is no loss of revenue on the part of the airline

Thus, as customers we get to pay Rs. 500 to Rs. 600 for the few minutes of surfing on the airline website and booking a ticket. There is no other service that you utilize at any point in time except this.

I just hope a regulator steps in and iron outs all the trade restrictive, consumer unfriendly and monopolistic practices as mentioned above.

T&C – Air India
Please make sure you familiarise yourself with the following points:
Limitation of Liability and Disclaimer of Warranties
The information published on this Web site may be incomplete or include inaccuracies or typographical error. (Emphasis provided)Air-India does not represent or warrant that access to the Web site will be uninterrupted or that there will be no failures, errors or omissions or loss of transmitted information, or that no viruses will be transmitted on this Web site.
AIR-INDIA LTD makes no representations about the suitability of the information, products, and services contained on this Web site for any purpose. All such information, products, and services are provided "as is" without warranty of any kind. (Emphasis provided)AIR-INDIA LTD hereby disclaims all warranties and conditions with regard to the information, products, and services, (other than carriage by air), including all implied warranties and conditions of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, title and non-infringement.
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Online Bookings
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Modifications and Refunds
Once an online booking is made, you will not be able to make modifications to it or cancel it online. You will have to contact the nearest Air-India office for any re-booking, re-routing, or cancellation of your ticket. Refund will only be processed by the E-Marketing Department ( Yatrik Cell ) in Mumbai against physical production of the ticket ( in case of paper tickets ) and the amount due after deducting the applicable charges will be credited back to the Credit Card Company. (Emphasis provided)If the ticket has not been issued in India, please return it to the issuing office. Once the issuing office confirms receipt of the ticket , the actual refund will be processed by the E-Marketing Department. If an E-Ticket has been generated, please email the E-Marketing Department requesting for the refund. Refund against tickets purchased through credit cards will be only in accordance with credit card refund procedures. Please note that cancellation and refund rules differ for different fare types. (Emphasis provided)
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Airport Tax
All known taxes at the time of ticketing will be collected on your ticket. Some airports will levy an airport departure tax, which is payable by passengers at the airport locally. Information on these charges is not given through our quoted fares.
Modification of Terms
AIR-INDIA LTD reserves the right to change these terms and conditions at any time without notice or liability. You are responsible for regularly reviewing these terms and conditions. (Emphasis provided) Use of AIR-INDIA LTD On-Line following any such changes shall constitute your acceptance of such changes.
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Registration, special offers and contests
Registered users will occasionally receive information on products, services and special deals offered by AIR-INDIA LTD. Out of respect for the privacy of our users we present the option not to receive these types of communications (please see the section headed "Choice/Opt-out" below). _
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This was Air India.

The emphasized text would say it all I guess. But if you thought booking a ticket online is an easy and quick way of booking tickets, you are wrong.

If you are not a lawyer, only God can help you to understand a 10 page terms and conditions format that you are expected to agree before you book your ticket.

The quickest reader would not be able to read it within 45 min let alone get a hang of what is being talked about.

My travel agent made me agree to any T&Cs before the ticket was booked.

Don’t ever think of canceling your E-tickets at Air India, as you might have to come to their Mumbai office to get your refund back. Sound as primitive as it gets.

Another anomaly that you find with Air India is that they treat all domestic travelers as international travelers, as I was told by one of the personnel representing the airline at the airport. Before you start thinking that this is about a world class service being offered, I must clarify that this is about the taxes that you pay for traveling in this public sector airline. So as opposed to Rs 221 that you pay as taxes when you travel through any domestic airline, Air India would charge you upwards Rs 600 for a domestic journey on account for taxes. How can be the taxes be different for a domestic traveler for the same distance. I fail to understand.

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T&C – Jet Airways
01 BK CODE    - H -
02 PENALTY    - NOTE - CHARGE INR 500 FOR         CANCEL/REFUND/REISSUE /REVALIDATION. INR 500 WILL BE         CHARGED PER TRANSACTION. IF DATE CHANGE /        CANCELLATION IS DONE MORE THAN ONE HOUR PRIOR TO        DEPARTURE. 50 PERCENT OF BASE FARE WILL BE CHARGED AS         DATE CHANGE/ REFUND CHARGES FOR EACH SECTOR IF DATE        CHANGE/REFUND IS DONE WITHIN ONE HOUR PRIOR TO FLIGHT        DEPARTURE/ NO SHOW. IF TICKETS ARE PRESENTED FOR        REFUND DUE TO DUPLICATE TICKET ISSUENCE FOR SAME DAY        SAME FLIGHT - SDSF. THE CANCELLATION CHARGES WILL NOT        BE APPLICABLE PROVIDED BOTH TICKETS ISSUED AGAINST        THE SAME PNR. UPGRADE TO HIGHER CLASS - PERMITTED.
        VOIDING CHARGES - INR 500 WILL BE CHARGED AS VOIDING CHARGE   IRRESPECTIVE OF ANY REASON. PROCEDURE FOR COLECTION OF CHARGES - ISSUE MCO FOR CHARGES AND REISSUE TICKET WITH NO ADC. MENTION MCO NUMBER IN ENDORSEMENT BOX. NOTE - JET AIRWAYS DOES NOT ACCEPT TICKETS BEARING REVALIDATION STICKER - ALL AMENDMENTS MUST BE REISSUED. THE TICKETS MUST BE PRESENTED AT 9W COUNTERS FOR  ENDORSEMENT OF CHARGES WITHIN 24HRS OF FLIGHT DEPARTURE - FAILING WHICH SUCH TICKETS WILL ATTRACT 50 PERCENT CANCELATION CHARGE ON BASIC FARE

This was Jet Airways at your service.

This again is a large laundry list of terms and conditions, which it seems has been posted after copying from some foreign airline.

Rs. 500 are charged for any modification/cancellation that you do.

So you thought it was easy with Jet. Wait before you jump to conclusions. To get your refunds back (Ticket price minus 500 minus any transaction charge), you need to go to one of the Jet’s offices to swipe your credit card to get it loaded on your credit card.

I hope the government would intervene and frame proper guidelines that regulate all the airlines that operate in India and the concerns as raised above would be resolved in the best interest of the consumers.

Consumer Club ->Corollary to the Idea -> E-Mail Marketing

2006-04-06T21:14:00.000+05:30

Generate a voluntary mailing/Email list of people open to marketing communication. Don’t share this list with anybody. Instead get marketers to pay for reaching out to X no. of people each time they want to do so.
The key is “Voluntary”, so that it’s not SPAM, when you contact them. This can come in when people know that they are contributing in a their own little way by just receiving a few email communications. To generate such a database, is a very arduous task, since a lot of things need to be captured here to be of some good utility to marketers.
This can be done by starting a viral e-mail campaign with a link to a data collecting website. This Email should have the necessary pitch, or a ten-slide presentation, something that breaks the clutter of SPAM HELP Emails and gets people to take notice and register themselves.
The second important aspect to manage is the number of people enrolled in this database This has to be above the critical mass of say one lakh for any corporate to be interested in. In fact, the uses of this database once generated are limited only to once imagination.
Here also it’s a win-win proposition. I’ll write one example on how the enrollers would tend to gain. A company like Hindustan Lever wants to launch a new axe deodorant spray variant. It has built a campaign around it. Now it wants to test market this variant amongst boys of 18-30 year old and wants to test the campaign it has created amongst girls of the same age bracket to ensure that they don’t find it too offensive, given the positioning of the product.
It approaches us for reaching out to a sample of 2000 SEC A B C males and a similar number of girls. HLL gets direct access to this population. Consumers get these free samples before anybody else and get to try them and express their opinion about the same. Consumers also feel empowered that the variant they tested and gave feedback on, would be rolled out nationally based on the feedback given. Females help them to refine the campaign.
In absence of such a medium, it’s not that Levers would not have done the activity but would set up it’s own microsite for two months with this objective. Draw an internet campaign with yahoo and indiatimes etal to attract people to their microsite by offering freebies, in-turn spending some X amount of money. And with our list they get an earnest feedback with much lower an amount than X.
Another win-win situation in the making it seems. And HLL and the above plan is just the tip of the iceberg.

Harry Potter :)

2006-03-29T09:37:00.000+05:30

Hey just came across this website... for Harry Potter fans.... Dumbledore is not Dead after all... :)

Happy Reading

"I will have only truly left Hogwarts when none here are loyal to me!" Prof Dumbledore

This is dedicated to all Harry Potter fans...

The Idea Extension

2006-03-19T20:09:00.000+05:30

From a capitalist to a socialist.

Extending the idea in my quick blog earlier, I thought I’ll put it as a social business plan. It’s an idea for cause marketing for a corporate. It can be targeted towards ills that plague a city.
For E.g. in Delhi, out of the 9 sewage treatment plants for Yamuna, 4 are dysfunctional. Now money generated from the activity I mention hereafter can be used to cure these plants and contribute directly towards cleaning of Yamuna

Or another one could be building on an over-bridge at ISBT, where at present there are two red lights to facilitate pedestrian crossing. These leads to a lot of wastage of fuel, causes unnecessary delays, causes accidents with people running after buses unmindful of the traffic signals.

The idea is that all the activities should be above the line where in the impact can be seen by the people of the city immediately or it makes perceptible difference to their lives. Another could be greening/beautifying/maintaining some green spots in the city.

In kolkata it could be providing 100s of Recycle bins for the city to manage the filth generated daily in the city... Point is causes are many...

I don’t think people would buy in these schemes if they were told that the money generated is going into spreading AIDS awareness or benefits of blood donation. The reason is then there is no accountability and KPIs which can be mapped by general public opting in for such schemes.

The WIN-WIN Plan (Utopian but practical)

I can identify four stake holders for it.

1.) Telecom Service Operator: This is the first pillar of the plan, and the buy in has to be created for them at first.
What does it get?
For starters it would be a good CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) initiative for the TSO without a major investment. So all the jazz (I know not a correct word usage but can’t write here an essay on CSR which everybody would agree is utmost important) that goes along with CSR, happens
It also would give cause marketing imitative and the operator can run city specific campaigns to win over customers, so as customers opt in for the TSO and directly add to the top line. It’s much better than city Marathons in my personal opinion, which is a latest fad. These are able to generate mass interest, but are a one-day affair and people forget all the causes that a marathon had stood for. People come there to run, have some good time for a day, get some good PR and that’s about it. Instead city specific high visibility initiatives would directly contribute to the top line in addition to building on the brand image of a corporate.

2.) A consumer like you and me. The consumer is the central pillar holding on the entire structure of this plan. That’s how important a consumer is. The idea is that a consumer would voluntary opt in for receiving marketing communications from a TSO. Advertising without permission of the consumer is banned by TRAI and amounts to SPAM and rightly so.
There are two methods of generating revenue through this plan
§ One is where the consumer opts in caller tune of Advertisements. So anybody who calls this consumer would hear some funky marketing communication from some advertiser. (Something on the lines of: Hello Sir, Main Amitabh Bachchan bol raha hoon. Apke mitr Reid and Taylor mein wishwas rakhte hain. 15 march tak uspe 15% ki choot hai, to aap bhi lijiye.)
§ Second is whenever the consumer dials any number he/she hears a marketing communication (reverse of caller tune). This helps in pin-point targeting of consumers by marketers since all the demographical data would be available with the TSO and can be used effectively and efficiently

The consumer need not pay anything to enroll in this scheme. A voluntary opt in SMS would do.
In any case if uses it as caller tune, this gives a boost to the self-image of a consumer, that he/she is directly contributing to the good of the city and after the project execution would also bask in the benefits of the project. Also consumer’s friends also get to know that their friend is in all for a good cause which further boosts the prestige of the consumer and also leads to a snowball effect with his/her friends opting for this service.

3.) Marketers/Advertisers
The third pillar constitutes the revenue stream for the model and hence is the financial pillar of the model without which the model is not sustainable.
These people are fighting in a cluttered environment to get their brand message across to a consumer. Here lies there unique chance of finding an uncluttered intimate environment to reach out to their consumers. The demographics are known, The SECs (Socio-Economic Classification) are known, what more does a marketer needs. :)

I’ll list down some of these marketers

Levis
Colgate Max Fresh
Nike
Close-Up
RBK
Adidas
AXE
Mountain Dew
Sprite
Pepsi
Coke
HP
Nokia
Zod
Duke
LG
Samsung
Gaming Zones
Timex
Fast Track
Ponds
Lakme
Sunsilk
Dove

The list is endless and is growing. So a Nokia can advertise its new cell phone to select customers while a Nike can send mobile coupons for redemption to selected customers who use a mobile in excess of 20 times a day. A fast track can air its “Yes Sir” Campaign or an AXE can ignite the desire of men using this service. The possibilities are limited only by one’s imagination.
The reach is immediate and intimate. So no more relying on 4000-odd-TV-sets-TRPs-deciding-for-the-whole-nation theory. The ROI is much easier to calculate and the pricing benchmarks can be much lower (Say 10 paise per impression) It can’t get cheaper I guess :)

4.) NGO: The fourth pillar is the executor and hence one cannot underestimate the role of this entity. This is the one that would make project reports and envision solutions and would get the projects completed. There has to be a lot of accountability in what it does. I am not sure how many organizations can do it. But one that I know of is Association for India’s Development (AID). This has it’s chapters in various cities, Delhi being one for starters. Now the volunteers in this organization are all graduates/Postgraduates from IITs/IIMs and other bright institutes, who want to do something for the country. Whoever said they run after dollar dreams probably did not hear about this organization. In-fact people have quit their US assignments and come to India and now actively work with this organization. They are media shy and believe in slogging it out rather then generate PR. All people are high enthu and gung-ho about doing something big for the country. Now this not a advetorial for them but I truly believe in the spirit in which they work. I attended a couple of meetings with them before relocating to my job location.
There would be other good NGOs working for many causes and they can all pool in.
A good amount of PR would get us the consumers who opt in for this scheme voluntarily, so net-net it’s a good win-win utopian yet practical model.
Being an MBA, I had to fiddle with some numbers so here they are:

Social Business Plan
Total Subscriber Base in Delhi for Airtel : 2000000
Voluntary opt in for Scheme (Consumers): 200000
People from a target group 18-35 (50%): 100000
Calls Received per day (random Avg): 5
Calls Made per Day (Random Avg): 3
Revenue per Advertiser per Impression (paise): 0.1
Revenue per day per advertiser (Rs): 50000
Total Advertisers: 10
Total per day (Rs): 500000
Total per month (Rs): 15000000
per annum (Rs): 180000000

So a totally simplistic and random calculation shows a generation of whopping 18 crores in a city per annum. Multiply that with 10 cities, and you have 180 crores pumped back into the benefit of the society, without anybody loosing anything.

Any takers for the above plan. :) We can work towards making this crude blog into a sound social business plan.

Quick Blog - Idea

2006-03-13T16:35:00.000+05:30

I am going to write some quick blogs from now on. This is to preserve the ideas that keep knocking my mind off and on. These ideas need to be captured I guess... Donno when and where, which Idea would click. Also I would be able to write more often
This is regarding a mobile service plan i.e. either free or subsidized. The revenue would come from advertisers who would advertise their brands as caller tunes... you would agree that Technology can help us in doing a very targeted promotion. So my friends reading this blog start actioning, if you work for a telecom service provider.
So next time you call me, you could be hearing to a Salaam Namaste promoting Colgate MaxFresh Gel. So more the people that call me, lesser is that I need to pay when I call.
Now if somebody plans to implement this in India, I would like to be the first customer :)

The DCE Days :)

2006-02-26T22:23:00.000+05:30

The DCE days.. :) (Totally Mindboggling confusing piece of blog u should better avoid)

This is a story about a group of six people [not four, as in Amitabh Bachan’s Eir Bir Phatte and him ;)], Lomi (Lomesh), Khanna (Akshay), Senti (Ashish), DK (Deepak), Lampu chinki (Lampu) and of course Me. Five of us were doing our bachelors in what was known as polymer science and chemical technology (PSCT). And DK did it in Environmental Engineering (EE). I would roll on various anecdotes that have been a part of my student life at DCE.
It’s always very difficult to describe one’s friends in one’s blog, just for the reason, u know they will get back to u pretty hard in their blogs. But still, I’ll do the honour’s of introducing my circle of friends at DCE (Can’t harm me much, as only two of them do active blogging I guess ;).
Lomi, used to call himself “chustbaccha” – Active Kid), and My-o-My active he is.. only mentally though.. I remember him taking part in a 4 X 100 m relay race once (just because members from our racing team backed out at last moment) and he ran as if it was running a marathon, with two mud filled buckets in both his hands. Just Kidding ;) Great guy with an equally great spirit and acumen. Still need to pick up a lot from him. He has this perverse liking towards a fruit called Singhara. He eats it whenever he feels he has been ditched, ;) He did his Matkapanti (That’s what we call people doing their Mtechs), in fact, maskapanti… i.e. MS in his first love mixed with his forced love. I.e. Computational Chemistry from the land of Microsoft. If you photocopy his likes & dislikes, probably mine would emerge. :) Will keep on writing on him and others more as this blog matures… :)
DK or “BossDK”, as we call him, is the laziest of us all. I remember him venturing out in the balcony of his room at times, which we later discovered was just to unload some water content of his body, since the loo was three rooms away from his room. But all his laziness was reserved for the hostel since once near the girls hostel he was an amateur expert in running around the trees/bushes with girls. He is the cassanova amongst us. Just yearning to learn those tricks from him. “My life is under ur control now!! U r the one who has to mould it the way u want it to.” Uff DK.. His weight is nearing a century, but I guess Senti would beat him to it. He also did his Matkapanti from IIT Mumbai, in the stream that is closest to his heart, (If we exclude girls of course) i.e. Environmental Sciences.
Senti, is the funniest of us all. His penchant for PJs and really good ones sets him in separate league all together. He is the one who would catch any body’s words and shoot in a PJ with everybody saluting him with folded hands. I have seen picking up their slippers to beat him up in closed hostel rooms for his incessant PJs. My favorite being about Alpa’s height, where in nobody agreed to her claims ( She claimed she was 5 feet tall, I guess she is marginally shorter..) Senti said she is right in as much as she is 3’ tall and has two feets (as in legs). That was sharp, there are a lot of sentiisms, if we were to compile them, the book would be thicker than “Hitchikers’ guide to the galaxy”. He was my pillion, for all the adventures that we did at college. Ghista bahut hai par. There was this politician guy Dhaiya in the college who once made this remark in one of his few speeches “Fuck a Bitch, But never argue with Senti, U might gain something in the former, but in the latter u would have no hope”. Senti had an ardent fan in Baccha amongst us, Did an intelligent thing by doing an MBA rather than Matkapanti.
Akshay or Bacha is the sharpest of all. He was also the first attempter like senti in DCE, thus was younger than us by a year but I guess we treated him much younger. He was pillion for Lomi and their bicycling streaks on the mobike made their rides seem pretty risky but they did it nevertheless. He is the Singhara Partner for Lomi. He also did MBA rather than Matkapanti. His organizing abilities would put Lord Mountbatten to shame. The way he organized his newspapers gave many a sleepless nights to Lomi who once tried to emulate it. ;) French beard really suits him. Lampu was very fond of him as he was always found in his room whenever he was restless especially after 12 in the night.
Lampu Chinki is the sweetest and the smoothest kid around. All puns intended. Would never forget his “Happiness-Misery” (such-dukh) fundas about a poster in my room pleading to God “ GOD!! PLEASE LET ME PROVE THAT WINNING A LOTTERY WON’T SPOIL ME” A very spirited Spirit, it seems he is on drugs for about 15 hours a day. ( The rest of the day he sleeps). He loves cooking especially for us and more so for DK and his old roomy Kasliwal. Now to stories :)

The writing here is inspired by Chetan Bhagat’s Five Point Someone. As they say comparisons are odious, so don’t compare it with the trendsetter book. I mention the bestseller author to acknowledge his role in writing of this blog.
The blog here is totally non-sensical and pls don’t take the contents in here to your heart…not that it would matter much but just in case it does. ;)

1. Projector
Life can be terribly disgusting yet interesting at times in the hostels at night especially when you are doing engineering, and u have no girls to flirt around with. At engineering campuses, you call this species “non-male” and not a female. This species is remotely similar to females for their dressing sense. I agree with this perception of reality to the extent but one. Now, that is because as a true engineer, I want to write with a factor of safety built in. So I agree with this perception of reality that engineering campuses there are either males or non-males and one female (As I said this is my factor of safety, as I don’t want to antagonize that one female who would be an audience to this blog, or shall we take two females, just in case there are two females reading this). Now here on the story becomes more interesting, u c, we are talking about a population of about 1599 males and non-males and one female (Okie two), so u can imagine the kind of ridiculously high attention (I don’t actually agree with this word, but still go with it) this female would get. But this blog is not about that female. It’s about the sarcastically low sense of humour that the hostel mess’s leave u with and the camaraderie that goes along with this in the hostels….
I would come back to more such topics as they created a lot of funny confusion or confused fun amongst the life of the gang of six mentioned above but I would go on to the story for my first anecdote. The hero (what do u call a person at the receiving end.. probably a hero of an oscar moving tragic movie) of this story is a male (I am not sure on this one, but for the sake of convenience and better knowledge, and the fact that he was allotted a boys only hostel, he will assume it to be true). Okie, now that it’s mandatory to describe the characters of the story, I’ll describe him as well. This guy was an un-assuming character… after all that happened with him, I still can’t assume anything about him, neither would u be able to do so since it would make an ASS of U and ME. He was about 5 feet five inches tall when standing. Quite like our life, his hairs were always messed up. Decent people call it curly but as you would have come to know by now, the writer of this blog is quite contrary to that. The setting of this story is in the month of October 1999, when the boys hostel was heavily infested by mosquitoes. These mosquitoes had the knack of making a very queer sound the moment one had the first bout of sleep.
Now, it was during one such night that we were looking for a solution to sleep peacefully. To use one’s mosquito repellent won’t occur to an engineering hostel guy because he almost always owns nothing. If he owns a bike, the petrol would be missing, if he owns a cigarette, the lighter would be missing and if he owns a mosquito repellent machine, the refill would be missing. I remember having brought a new mosquito repellent dispenser once. It said “it lasts for 45 nights”. It never said conditions apply. Mine lasted a day. The moment I switched it on, the neighbor got a hint of it and we had to share it 50-50. It did not end there as I had more than one neighbors and this geometric progression continued till I had about one night’s liquid left in the dispenser. This was probably because of the viscosity of the remnant repellent, which refused to leave the bottle. But engineers are used to beat the system, so the next guy entering my room came along with a bottle of water, poured in some water and then halved the contents and left. I never bought it again ;) I would leave mosquitoes and return to my story before somebody points out, this blog has been sponsored by Reckitt-Benckiser.
It was after dinner on one such fateful night that we had nothing better to do, that we went for an “after-dinner walk”. None of us had a repellent with us so started asking people about the status of their refills. It was then that Lomi and myself came in contact with our hero “the projector” for the first time. He was also on an evening walk. I did not know him till then, but still decided to ask him for a mosquito repellent. This is how the conversation started.

Me: Hi, I am Ajay, Have we been introduced before?
Lomi: Oh you don’t know him. He is a stud yaar. He is doing his mechanical engineering. Were you not there when the girls in the canteen were discussing about a handsome boy. It is him. (Now I could barely control my laughter with Lomi going all out right at the outset to scare him away.)
Me: Of course I was. Oh Awesome, Dude that is pretty cool and quite an achievement.
Projector: Who were these girls?? (This chap could barely hide his excitement.)
In the meanwhile the rest of the gang joined in too and asked us what was on J. I thought we were losing focus of our objective so I brought them back.
Me: Yaar, I hope you get to sleep these days?
Senti: Do you have a mosquito repellent in your room?
Taken by surprise by this he said: Oh yes I sleep without much trouble. Actually I have a quilt with me, so I switch on my fan at full speed and then take the quilt so that I don’t catch cold, and since I am covered from head to toe, mosquitoes are fooled. Why are you asking me about the mosquito repellent??
This was enough to ignite frustrated souls of all of us? (What does one do with a mosquito repellent damn it??
Excess of Mosquitoes and projectors and lack of good girls make up a deadly combo. I would advise all the readers, if any, to beware if they come across somebody who has already come across this combo.
Now I couldn’t resist the temptation of answering this silly question with a twist. I told him that it was a part of a project that we were doing. All his nonsensical senses came to life hearing this, as if it were a part of an earth shattering research.
He asked us what is the project all about.
The fish had caught the hook. The beauty of frustness is that the understanding between friends during such times transcends all communication barriers. So the moment I dropped the hook, each member of the gang was clued in.
Lomi took it on from there and told that Project officer at DCE, a person in the name of Mr. D V Chaure (or Daya Vasti Chaure, as we used to call him fondly, but that’s a different story all together) had given us this project and it was part of a secret undercover research. I thought Lomi was overdoing it and the fish might just release the hook. But the projector was more talented than I had initially thought and he swallowed the hook instead.
I took it on from there that there were some undercover projects that had been handpicked and floated by Mr. Chaure and some fortunate & selected students have been assigned these projects. I added that these are all consultancy assignments that are secretly passed on to colleges such as ours by leading national and multinational companies to know more about the Indian psyche and consuming habits and are very useful.
Further I told him that the answer of the question he had innocently asked i.e. why we were interested in his mosquito repellent. I told him that we are working on a project that would help in developing the best repellent ever known to man. So we are randomly surveying people about their mosquito repellents and we cannot disclose anything beyond it since it was a secret.
He started coaxing us into telling him more about the project and to be specific how to get such projects.
We told him that since the last day of putting in applications was over, there was no way now that he could be one of us now. He was disappointed to the extent of putting in an application to the principal of the college for assigning him a special project. We told him since he was so interested in doing a special project, we shall talk to Mr. Chaure and he might consider Projector as a special case.
At 7:00 clock next morning projector was at the door of my room to remind me to talk to Mr. Chaure. I was totally frust by now. How can a human be possibly so stupid? I thought he deserves a project so I assured him that I would do something special for him. I asked him to meet us during the snack time at the hostel mess in the evening. Snacks (or better messed up snacks) with a sugary imly sauce was what we were served daily between 4:00 to 5:00 PM.
Projector was already in the mess waiting for me when I reached there. I had completely forgotten about my conversation in the morning. Nevertheless, I have never required any preparation for assigning projects. I gathered the entire gang and we took him to our reading room (remember it was supposed to be a secret) and I told him that Mr. Chaure has agreed to assign him a fresh project but for that he would have to prove that he was serious in doing a project. The reading room was rarely visited by anyone so it was an ideal place for fishermen and their catch.
He was more than willing to prove his readiness and seriousness for the project. I suggested he do some pre-projects to get the final project. He asked for our help in making sense of a nonsense word “pre-projects”. Helpful that we are, thoughts started flowing out like a turbulent stream. The project got more interesting and creative with each minute. These are some of the pre-projects that we suggested and which he finally did to get a hence proved for his seriousness and get a final project from Mr. Chaure.
§ Counting the total number of doors and windows in all the hostels including and excluding cupboard doors
§ Counting the number of words in a newspaper for seven consecutive days and then suggest what is the optimal number. (A newspaper lying in the reading room had sparked off this idea in Senti)
§ To count all the tube lights and fans in the corridors and common areas in the hostels and their locations. (I thought let’s make use of some of his madness and get these repaired by passing on the list to the Public Works Department)
§ To measure the per day rate of growth of grass at ten random locations in the campus with the help of a vernier calipers. (This DK suggested can be stolen from the Physics lab. Projector managed to steal one, I guess) The ten locations were suggested by Baccha.
§ To measure the diameter of the outlet in shampoo bottles for different manufacturers and map the rate of flow of shampoos from bottles when inverted.
§ To measure the rate of burning of a cigarette and map it across various manufacturers. (This I remember was literally hammered in by “Pilani”, a friend who had been informed about the Projector’s talent by Lomi. Pilani had woken him up at 2:00 AM one night, when we had told him about other projects ordering him that Grover had found a new pre-project for him and that he had to do it.

By this time, everyone in the hostel was aware of Projector’s ever-growing list of pre-projects and suggestions started flowing from all.

Two weeks after the pre-projects, our hero came back with his findings in all of the above and did a Bonus project of counting all the “Dark Eye” pillars in the campus. This we later discovered were the orange colored conical road dividers that had recently been put up in the campus. He proved that he was dead serious. I think I should better call him as seriously dead. Long live the projectors of this world. :)

My Pains

2005-11-15T23:12:00.000+05:30

This is again a story, which pains me a lot, so I write it. I tend to puke out all the ugly things that cloud my mind, all the negative thoughts, either by blurting them out to my friends or by writing them out. I guess writing is a better option, because the reader would be forewarned about my negative thoughts. Throwing such negativities from my system helps me immensely. It takes off a heavy load from my mind. And then there is pseudo bliss where I have no complaints regarding any thing to any body. I just love such periods so I ejaculate my thoughts quite often.
But there are still some thoughts that linger on and continually make me restless. Mainly these are regarding the issues that I strongly believe in but unfortunately did not do much to tackle them. Cleanliness in Kolkata being one of them.
But the issue that I wanted to write about when I started writing today was on bribery and the innovative methods by which policemen fleece offenders, thereby encouraging them to repeat their mistakes by giving them a let off in return of some petty amount. Professions that I respect them most are that of a Doctor, a Teacher, armed forces and Police and thereafter any other profession. Such instances have not changed my deference towards these professions but yes my beliefs have taken a hit because of such ugly cases.
I was traveling in this mini bus today, which I boarded from Howrah Station. At Kolkata these minibuses are omnipresent, are really mini when we talk about standing space inside the bus, but the drivers of these buses are no less than Formula drivers. Their penchant for killing people on roads is rebuked by newspapers in Kolkata a lot, but that has not changed the status quo at all. Now this bus was given a signal to stop by a traffic policeman. I thought the time has come for the driver to meet his nemesis. But that was not to be. The driver climbed down from the bus, went near the bike, put a Rs. 10 currency not in the side carriage of the motorbike, did not utter a word, climbed back in the bus, started it and started driving recklessly again. I did not do anything about it and am ashamed of myself on this. I know even blurting or writing it out won’t relieve me of this guilt but still I write to confess. I guess till the time there would be people like me in this world, we will have policemen and drivers as I saw today.
I am not sure if it is right or wrong to be bothered by such external manipulative factors, but I feel a lot about them. Hope I would be able to do something about such things soon.

Pujo at Kolkata

2005-10-14T19:46:00.000+05:30

It has been a long leave from work for me now... it's holidays here since sunday on account of Pujo...

Went around did some Pandal hopping on Sunday & Monday.. It rained heavily on Tuesday so did not step out ... but here there was no dampning of spirits in any way... with people thronging pandals with all the fervour and enthu....It's just amazing to c this kind of feelings in people....:)

People revere and propitiate Shakti, the Goddess in Her aspect as Power, to bestow upon man all wealth, auspiciousness, prosperity, knowledge (both sacred and secular), and all other potent powers.

There are a lot of legends here on why this festival is celebrated. One is , it is held in commemoration of the victory of Durga over Mahishasura, the buffalo-headed demon. Here, in Bengal her image is worshipped for nine days and then cast into water. The tenth day is called Vijaya Dasami or Dusshera (the "tenth day"), as we call it in North. Processions with Her image are taken out along the streets.

The other legend is that the mother of Durga (that is, the wife of the King of the Himalayas) longed to see her daughter. Durga was permitted by Lord Shiva to visit her beloved mother only for nine days in the year. The festival of Durga Puja marks this brief visit and ends with the Vijaya Dasami day, when Goddess Durga leaves for Her return to Mount Kailash. This is the view of some devotees. :) Its amazing to c these mythologies floatng around in here, and even more amazing is the unshakable faith that people have in these legends and culture :)

Thus keeping in line with the above legend, all who live away from home return during the Puja days. Mothers reunite with their sons and daughters, and wives with their husbands.

If I were to compare it with a festival in the north, it would be a fusion between Janamashtmi and Diwali, the creativity and Jhankiyan taken from Janamashtmi (In fact I guess Pujo is much more creative and exquisite) and fused with grandiose and festivities of Diwali up there...The potter shows his skill in making images, the painter in drawing pictures, the songster in playing on his instrument, and the priest in reciting the sacred books. The Bengalis make it a point to wear new clothes for most of these days... In fact there were a couple of suicides in some poor families here where a father could not afford new clothes for his daughters...so there are tragedies too that mark this festival...

The scope of mobility is limited in the city if you are not on foot.... People go Pandal hopping especially from the sixth day to the tenth....footfalls to the tune of 20000 per hour are generated at each Pandal.....There was this pandal where everything was made using pulses... so there was arhar ki dal to maa ki dal..to rajmah, lobiya and kala chana to decorate the idols and the entire pandal.... My guess is, it must have taken atleast two months to put up that thing together :)

Come to think about it, Durga Puja is the greatest Hindu festival in which God is adored as Mother. I guess Hinduism is the only religion in the world which has emphasised to such an extent the motherhood of God. One's relationship with one's mother is the dearest and the sweetest of all human relations..and that is what is revered through this festival :)

The third legend is during Durga Puja, God in the form of the Divine Mother is worshiped in Her various forms as Durga, Lakshmi and Saraswati. Though the Goddess is one, She is represented and worshiped in three different aspects. On the first three nights of the festival, Durga is worshiped. On the following three, Lakshmi and then Saraswati Devi on the last three nights. The following tenth day is called Vijayadasami. Vijaya means "victory", the victory over one's own minds that can come only when these three: Durga, Lakshmi, and Saraswati are worshiped.
There are many more, with one more considering this festival as the start of the learning period for kids.. so kids are made to speak their first meaningful words on this day..:)

It was a visual treat being here for the past few days.... especially bcos the bengal beauties are at their very best these few days...so it was very pleasant hopping Pandals :)

This was the first time that with all the stinkiness and filth around me, I still liked the city and its people for the spirit they uphold :)

I also went out for the Moorthi Visarjan.... It's very difficult to describe the scene out there... women were actually crying unconsolably for goddess was going back after being amongst them for this duration.... It was just mind blowing to c such faith and tradition being followed... Then there was this Aarti competetion where kids below 6 years were eligible to participate... they were just awesome.. looking at thost tiny tots, with earthen goblets carrying fire in their hands and dancing to the tune of Dhol and a tawa (I don't know what they call it traditionally, but its just like a tawa which is beaten by a mettalic stick about a foot long, so u have this enchanting music of dhol and this particular instrument)

Will be back with more later :)

Strike

2005-09-29T12:16:00.000+05:30

It was a bandh here today....and was similar to a terrorist strike.....I thought this existed only in hindi movies.... not a shop opened, not because they did not want to... but because if they opened, the shop would be looted and then gutted, such is the state of affairs at Calcutta and West Bengal.... none of those mercenaries knew what was the reason for the strike... I myself was aghast to know... that the strike was called to oppose liberalization/privatization/disinvestment.... Uff...and by the left parties.... and day in and day out their chief minister is out of the country attracting some investment for the state....
Such was the state of affairs that not a train moved.. people were squatting on rail tracks since 5:00 in the morning... no essential service was even spared... lot of terror and goon baazi reined the roost .... the entire city bore a deserted look... people who dared to move to their offices were stopped mid way... asked to return back home.. and if people persisted their vehicles were set ablaze...
But after all this I think every society gets what it deserves.... people here support unionbaazi.. vote in left parties year after year.. and these parties hold the city to ransom at their own will.... people have submitted to this coward ism...police is of no help...i can go on and on...but..
I would rather stop this out pour.... it being my first experience of a bandh in this city.... Thanks to my landlord, i had some proper food to eat today or else i would have to survive on my cache of juices and biscuits for the entire day...:)

Besides such arbit things.... i have been trying to maintain sanity....i was advised not to move out of my place and that's what I did for most part of the day.... caught up with a lot of paper work that becomes pending....

FMCG

2005-09-24T12:14:00.000+05:30

I feel, life has its own way of teaching things. At times I was being prepared for this while from my DCE days...lol.. U know what, when I was given this assignment in Hoogly, I was lamenting that why is that all these FMCGs put you in remote places, I felt that after all you will work well when u r in ur comfort zones, but after two months here, I realize that probably they want you to focus single mindedly towards your work and learn how things operate on the ground in the business. Had I been in my comfort zone, say a Delhi or a Bombay, probably I would have gotten over my work, once I would have reached home. But here, since I have nothing else to do, i ponder over my work, on how to increase profitability and sales for all my stockists and that is what is desired I guess :)

Happy & Gay

2005-09-15T12:11:00.000+05:30

On another day, I had landed my self in some serious trouble....:) .. I came out from one stock point and was walking down the road, when I received a phone call from my subordinate.. he had something for me to write so I sat down on a platform in front of somebody's house, since the platform was in shade and started writing the stuff. After some time I realized that I am being watched by a person who had come out of this house and was on a bicycle. When I disconnected, he came to me asked me if I worked for a credit card company. I told him in negative and he started a casual conversation. I told him the name of the company that I worked for and was there to meet my stockist...I started walking off and this chap, who was about 30 year old, could speak hindi, started riding his bicycle matching pace with my walking speed. He told me he had a liquor shop and was going there... he asked me if I drink, I said no... I thought it to be a harmless conversation ... I told him I stay at Hind Motor area and such stuff... then I felt a little bit uncomfortable since this person was just not leaving so I caught an auto and reached the railway station where I eventually had to catch a train... To my surprise, this chap also came to the station and started the conversation again,.. but this time he started babbling that he hated girls.... I said okie... I said I don't and there are an integral part of this world.. he started asking me questions that I was not prepared for.. like have I ever had Sex...to have I ever been to prostitutes...kinds... I still thought it were harmless and generally answered them in negative.. At this he got encouraged and said come to my home... u have already seen it and we would have fun.......I thought he was a pimp... there are a lots of such people there... I told him no thanks I am not interested... the train came... we both climbed in the same compartment...and he pursued the topic further.. I could not run from a moving train and was feeling helpless.. Sometime earlier, he had asked me my no. Till that time it was a casual talk and somehow I gave him a fake no....He told me he will call me later and make a plan... I said for what.... It was then that I realized that he was a Gay (Remember he had given me cues I hate girls types)... Kis tarah bacha main us aadmi se, main hi jaanta hoon.. bilkul chipak hi gaya tha woh to...(I know u must be laughing at this) but mera soch yaar... abhi tak bhi mujhe lagta hai use meri company ka naam pata hai, hind motor pata hai .. dhondta hua yahan naa aa jaaye... lol........ :) so pray for me…

Language is a good barrier at times :)

2005-09-06T12:06:00.000+05:30

Work at my end is pretty much a routine now...I try to pull a string here or there.... some things work out ...some don't ... to kuch na kuch chalta rehta hai..

In between some strange things keep happening...like the other day, I had got an electrician to put up an electric socket switch at my home. I was on the phone while this chap was working... After some time I realized that someone is ringing the bell hard and beating down on my door... I opened the door and found to my surprise, that my neighbour, a bengali babu wearing only a longyi, barges in my home and starts shouting.. he went on for about 5-6 min...kuch to bolta raha.. and I am standing there watching this dude from top to bottom... and then he realized that I can't understand a word he is saying... You should have looked the frustration on his face.... as if all the anger the had just vented out had re-entered him since I could not understand what he said.

He went out, got two or three more neighbours and told them "Yeh Bengali bujhe Naa hai" (he does not understand Bengali)... and I started laughing and closed my door...I asked the electrician on what was the matter and what was this man trying to say. He told me that, the neighbour was worried that the common wall between our houses would fall because of the drilling the electrician was doing....lol.... :))

Patience

2005-08-20T12:04:00.000+05:30

U know what is the height of patience ???... one of the weaknesses that I used to state in my placement forms and interviews... was that I need to be a bit more patient...now sample this…the only time of the day when I get to eat Roti (Chappatis) is during the night time...this place where I have my dinner is a 4' by 12' room which houses the kitchen and the seating arrangement too....there is this 38-40 year old lady who cooks the food...while her husband is an accessory there....does no work but kuch toka taki karta rehta hai...In this small place, they have plastic stools lined up and there is a slab where we keep our plates while we eat.... most customers are loyal to this place because the food is good and above all hygienic, which can be rare if you are Bengal... I reach this place daily at around 9:00 PM in the nite.. and since the place is small, i have to wait at times.. now, this turns out to be the most horrible experience during the day....U c one.. I am hungry since morning, two I c people eating around me while I wait...and three and the most disgusting,.....I am subjected to a torture of Ekta Kapoor's serials which the lady there is fond of... meri halat kharab ho jaati hai yaar....by the time my turn comes.....Uff.... and its terribly boring with all the people watching those disgusting programs and me looking here and there for some respite... but still I am subjected to the infidelity of the women in all the K.. serials, where marriage is a convenience. I guess I would never be able to comprehend how can somebody even switch to the channels where such serials are on… But I still don’t quit.... ever seen such loyalty and patience...lol...:))

All in a day’s work

2005-08-20T12:01:00.000+05:30

The day usually starts with my cell phone alarm ringing incessantly at around 5:30 Am. I put it on snooze a no. of times before giving up on it and finally shutting it down. But this serves as a reminder communication that I have to wake up soon. I finally get up from my bed at around 6:00 Am, by which time the sun is up and is in its full glory, lightning up my room, so that I can no longer afford to sleep. After my ablutions, I read the newspaper, check my mails, which takes a little more time than I can afford in the morning.
Since I have to go far off, I have to leave as early as 7:30 at times, but it's 8:30 on an average.. At times I have to run, jog, walk fast to catch the trains....the station is about 6 mins of walking from my place... this distance I usually cover in 2-4 mins... I guess I am always a minute short of the train timings.. :) to top it almost invariably get a phonecall from somebody in the morning that sucks up those precious two minutes from my tightly packed schedule. Fortunately, the service time for trains ranges from 20 mins to an hour. To reach the platform, I have to pass this fish market, which almost invariably is crowded and the smell there, I am sure, would suffocate somebody to death someday.
Once on the platform, I can afford to slow down, since the train becomes visible almost a km prior to it reaches the station, which gives me 2 mins to walk up to the newspaper vendor and get an Economic Times, which is my fodder for the train journey, if I get a seat. After boarding the train, the first thing I do is search for a seat which is near a window to get adequate light to read my ET. Soon, vendors arrive with their stuff ranging from Mudi, which is dried roasted rice with peanuts, to Badam, which are peanuts. They sell dilkhoooosh, which is served warm. This is just like milk cake in appearance but has no milk and is made from flour by adding sugar to it and baking it. It tastes good ..:) then there is sassa (cucumber) and Piara (Guava) and Kela (Banana). Every new item is introduced to all the dadabhais sitting in the train as a nautoon delicacy, which somehow generates quite a few trials.. lozenges of various flavours are a hit with women. At times these vendors get on your nerves since they compete with each other to get heard ...there are people in the train who roam with mobile karaoke players operated on batteries and they sing to earn money in the trains...then there are beggars who generally swell by the hour. After about an hour of an eventful journey, I am at my destination station. One has to get up and be near the door prior to one's station since the trains stop maximum for 20 seconds, wherein people board and de-board the train. I have seen people missing their stations because of the barrage of people coming in to board the train. Almost invariably all the gates are manned by "havakhors" as I call them since they literally hang from the gates (four of them on a gate) just to get some fresh air while the train is in motion. This people constrict the passage and are reasons for quite a few confrontations amongst the dadabhais early in the morning.
I usually fix up the time with the salesman who I am going to work with in the market beforehand. Then we start working in the market, hopping from shop to shop, where I train the salesman, guide him about the FIFOs, motivate him, give him his targets, at times make the sales pitch to the shopkeepers. This shop hopping or order booking as we call it in sales parlance continues till about 2'o clock. The most common issues that you would encounter in any FMCG would be that of undercutting, and all the shop keepers start complaining about it, rather haggle with us to give them the wholesaler rates, the moment you enter their shops....After this I go to the stock point, where in the stockist as a matter of fact would start complaining about the bad state of the market. But after some quick statistics that I gather from his files and systems he would admit that work is ok....After some more probing he would say work is fine but a lot of effort is required. I generally leave it at that. In my company there is a distributor management system in place along with a management information system, which if operated correctly gives us a lot of useful information, which is required to plan the business and do better sales.
One good thing about my company is that I am not on a shadow stint. I have been given an independent responsibility to manage a territory so stockists take me seriously when I say something, which may be unlike other FMCGs where MTs are on shadow stints and don't have much say. As a result there is a lot of responsibility and one has to meet his targets, which are set at the start of the month. We do some business planning, which is nothing but taking stock of the schemes that can be operated at stockist level to boost his sales...I have a freedom to devise my own schemes at the stockist level. Some of them click, some don't and we keep on doing something, like the other day we introduced a scheme of giving a refrigerator free with 15 cases (24 dozen each) of a toothbrush. The logic was that it is Pujo time in Bengal and people are as such going towards buying consumer durables... so why not give them an incentive to buy large quantities of our products whilst attaching them with a consumer durable. This clicked...After such discussions I generally move out of the stock point at around 5:30 PM and come to the station to board a train back. I generally sleep my way through my journey back although the vendors again start rolling all over the train, however crowded it may be. I am back by around 6:30 to 7:00 in the evening except when there is a meeting or some stuff to be collected from stockist, when I would have to visit more than one stockist in the day. On such days I am back by around 8:30. I do some reading after I am back home and start planning for the next day. I usually sleep at around 11:00, by which time some of my colleagues in banks are still working their way up the ladders.
Weekends are one thing which an MT would not ideally look forward to when he is stuck in a rural village (Read Hind Motors). It can get ridculously lonely at times :) But for me it is a welcome change since it is on weekends that I teach a boy, who has been adopted by my landlord. His parents deserted him when he was small enough to have any memory of them. My landlord had adopted him then and has been looking after him since then. I don't do it out of any obligation, it's just that I like doing it. So I look fwd to weekends when i meet this 8th class kid. That's about wraps up the routine part so to say.. :)

Life’s Unfair!! Get used to it :)

2005-08-04T18:46:00.000+05:30

I started from Ballygunge Phari (this was the place where company had provided me with an acco.) at around 11:00 Am in cab. It would take around two hours to reach this new place in Hind Motors. The taxi driver took a detour midway and lost his way, because of which we reached this place after almost three hours of traveling. The electrician had not done a neat job and still a lot of things needed to be done, putting up a fan for a starter. I purchased a ceiling fan immediately and asked the electrician to install it, but since he was on a complaint call, he told me he would install it in some time. Meanwhile, I did some more shopping which were required to make this place habitable. Then I went to a carpenter, where I had ordered my bed.
Now the size of the bed that I had ordered was a bit abnormal for a single bed. The size being 7’ X 5’. I had thought that it would be able to accommodate a guest if ever I had one in this place. As I would have expected, the carpenter overshot his deadline of delivery by 3 hours and the bed was ready by 8 O clock. This bed was built to the specification, was made from special wood (Orissa series… God knows what it is!!) And as a precaution I had told carpenter to put in six pair of legs instead of four. With much fanfare I brought this monster thing to my apartment complex, and it would refuse to go up. The apartment people had put in two collapsible grills in the stairs and under no circumstances could you take this thing up. My flat was on second floor. The bed must have weighed around 100 kgs. We were two people (The rickshaw wallah and me), who tried our best… I even broke the two extra middle legs with some punching, hurting my hand in the process, but the bed would still not go up. After about two hours of struggle, we gave up and the bed had to be returned to the carpenter shop.
Meanwhile the electrician had come and was on the job, putting up the fan. After he had done his job, the fan would refuse to work. But it was so late in the day that by the time the electrician dismantled the fan; the shop from where I had procured it was closed.
This was my first day alone in my new house, without a bed, without a fan and without proper food. Life is unfair…. get used to it…:)…. There were a lot of other things that happened this day, but I ‘ll spare u the details as it is enough cribbing for the day :).. The things would improve from now on…. After all it cannot be worse than this…

Searching a new house – 13th July to 30th July

2005-07-31T19:09:00.000+05:30

I never thought searching for a simple habitable house for myself would be so tough. The city has not heard of property dealers, who could help you out in searching a place. I had a very short checklist before I decide to venture in a home. It must have clean toilets, must be semi-furnished i.e. it must have a bed, a set of table-chair where one can do some work, access to clean drinking water, a clean kitchen area and basic electrical fittings.
But this demand was interpreted as if I were asking for the moon on Earth. I was told that such a furnished flat would not be available in Calcutta let alone in the suburbs where I was looking for it. My logic is that I should not be purchasing any furniture etc. for my stay for the next six months.
The house hunt started at a place called Bandel, with one of the stockists and a colleague of mine taking me around to show a few houses. Bandel is about 60-80 km away from Calcutta and from this place all the stockists that I would be working with are easily accessible. The first one was a huge bungalow with 2 bedrooms and a hall. The only problem with this house was that it was a naked house without even the basic electrical fittings. So I moved on. It was later that after seeing the other two houses in the same location that I decided that the bungalow was the best. But this gentleman refused to let his house to a bachelor.
The company had put me up in a guesthouse, which was initially booked for me for my first fifteen days in Calcutta and was increased subsequently to the first month on my request. The first polite reminder for me vacating the guesthouse came on the 16th from the Branch Manager himself, who probably was aware of the extent of effort that I would have to put in before I finally would have a place to live. I did my search after my work hours and roamed endlessly looking for places where I can put up my base. I had always this inkling that the stockists would be able to bale me out and arrange for a decent accommodation. I hoped that I would be able to meet management trainees from other FMCGs, which would be dealing with the same stockists. But apparently no company had put in their MTs in this zone. The geographical reach of the territory that I was given to handle is one of the largest in the zone so one would need to travel huge distances to reach out to each stockist. The easiest, fastest and the most convenient mode of transportation was rail which stopped at all my stock points but barring one none of my stock points were near the station, thus I had to travel further through cycle rickshaws to reach these places. I hated this part of the journey and avoided it as much as I could. Somehow, I was not agreeable to the fact of a human pulling a human. Probably somewhere deep down it seemed that I was a burden on somebody, which I certainly did not want to become.
Before I come down to further specifics of my search, I need to some specifics of the rail lines here. There are two major railway stations in Calcutta. One is Sealdah and the other is Howrah station, which lies just across the famous Howrah bridge from Calcutta on the border of howrah city. The twin cities of Calcutta and Howrah are separated by river Ganges and are joined by Howrah bridge. Howrah station is certainly one of the largest that I have ever seen. Although it’s one of the dirtiest too, but one cannot escape the magnanimity of the station which has more than 40 platforms, with trains leaving in a number of directions from this place. Mine was the Main Northeastern Line for local trains which started from Howrah and had the following stations en-route and in that particular order: Liluah, Belur, Bally, Uttarpara, Hind Motors, KonNagar, Rishra, Srirampur, Seoraphuli, Bhradeshwar, Baidyabatti, Mankundu, Chander Nagore, Chuchura, Hoogli, Bandel, Mogra, Pandooah, and some two three other stations and then Boinchi gram and Boinchi where the last of my stock points was located. Another rail line that I needed to keep track of was the Chord Line, which separated from the mainline at Bally or Seoraphuli and moved toward Tarakeshwar. One of my stockists is on this line too.
So the house hunt started at Bandel with not much luck. Then the stockist at Chuchura offered to help me, and sent one his salesmen to escort me to a hotel in Chandra Nagore. This location of this inn was amazing. It was located on the banks of Ganges and a cool breeze was omnipresent in all the rooms of this inn. But as luck would have it, this place was already booked for the next one year by a Chinese delegation, which were working on a “Clean the Ganges” project. Then, I went to a government guesthouse adjacent to this hotel. This place was not very well maintained but I would have compromised some of my hygiene factors had I got an accommodation in this place. But the problem here was, they would book me a room but would not be able to assure me a six month long booking and I would have to hop my room every month. Now this was a bit too much to ask for and I decided to look for other alternatives.
I was kind of fed up with my erratic schedule of going to search for homes after a long day at work and that too without getting any fruitful results out of it. I searched through all the advertisements in The Telegraph, resigning to the fate that I would book something up in Calcutta and travel daily for about 3 hrs each side to go to my stockists. But this too did not work out, easy as it had seemed earlier.
Finally help came from one of my pilot salesmen (PSM) who had his residence at the Hind Motors locality. This area probably has India’s first automobile factory of that of Hindustan Motors. As a result most of the cabs that you get in Calcutta are all Ambassadors. Anyhow, this PSM hired one “dalal” as he put it to look for a house for myself. I have no idea of the brief that was given to this broker but was disgusted with the kind of places that he took me to. These were more of shanties than flats. The first place was a single room, which had dark green painted walls. The room had a single window in the south, which was closed at that time so the room was eerily dark. The roof was pretty low at around 9 feet. On the front side was the room of the owner, who came out wearing only a longyi. He had probably been woken up from a sound sleep. His wife and two kids lived in that single room. The room as you can imagine was pretty cramped up for space. After some babbling with the broker he asked me to cough up Rs. 20000 bucks as an advance for the room. I told him that I was not there to purchase the room but was looking for a leased accommodation. To this he took annoyance and told me that the advance was only a security deposit for a rented accommodation. He asked me my decision about the room, which can be quite embarrassing at times. I told him that we would get back to him after looking at a few other places. The next place was no better. The broker described this place as a boxed apartment. It was virtually a box with a lid placed on top as a roof and no windows. The toilet was on the roof in a corner. I was running out of my patience with the kind of places this broker was taking me to. I told my PSM that money was never an issue and he should look for a better place, if one is available in the area.
One thing that each one of these gentlemen kept harping out was about the south facing apartments. I could not get the logic of this since from the place where I come from, we always prefer East of North facing houses. But here everybody mentioned a south-facing house as if it commanded a certain amount of premium on it. :)
On my next visit, we had a different broker who took us around a few apartments. These were newly constructed flats by builders who would have procured the land from their original owners. So as you would expect, the space was utilized to the hilt with no open spaces. The ground floor had shops and the upper floors had these 1-2 bedroom apartments. The flats were at least clean and new. I was assured now that if nothing better works out, I would shift in one of these apartments. But the trouble again was that all these flats were naked with not even basic electrical fittings.
By this time I had lost all my definitions of a furnished accommodation and resigned to the fact that this is how I would have to manage. When a colleague of my asked me about the progress with my search, I told him that I have found a semi-furnished accommodation which had tiled toilet-baths, he asked me the rent and asked me to shift in immediately. When I told him that I would need to fix in everything from a bed to sleep to a fan to the lightning arrangements, he asked me then what was the furnishing that I talked about. I told him that the place had clean walls, had windows for air to come in and the toilets were clean and unused. The place had hooks to hang the missing curtains. Then, he convinced me to return back to Calcutta and look for a PG there itself or hotels in Calcutta which would take away all this unnecessary troubles from my life.J I came back to Calcutta, but I gave an order of preference to the PSM for the flats that we had just seen.
I went back to Howrah and started looking for hotels near the railway station since I had already made extreme efforts in finding a PG without any success. These hotels could have served my purpose for the next six months, but none was ready to book me in for that long a period fearing trouble with the police. Some who did asked for hefty rents, as if they were 4 star hotels. This day I traveled for about 12 hrs searching for a place to live. It was a Sunday and only a week remained when I would have to vacate the company booked guesthouse. When I came back to hotel, I thought I would go back to Hind Motors and fix up something. But for the next couple of days I was very busy and could not devote much time to this cause. Then I went to Mankundu on Wednesday to a stockist there and told him my problem of not being able to find an accommodation. He was a helpful chap and came with me to look for a place in this area. He showed me a few places but nothing could be finalized since the owner had gone to Delhi and was to return after a few days.
By the time I reached Hind Motors again on 28th, the order of preference I had given to my PSM had gone for a toss and the places that I had tentatively booked were either already leased out or had been sold. Then a miracle happened. I had called one of my friends to share this disappointment and somebody overheard me. It was around 4 in the evening. He was also a broker and asked me if I was looking for a good rented accommodation. When I replied to the affirmative, he took me to the place, which was a new 1 BHK (bedroom-hall-kitchen) flat. I found that the place satisfied all the minimum hygiene criteria that had still not been destroyed within my mental framework and immediately booked the place, this being the 53rd home that I was having a look at, perhaps too tired to push my luck any further. I decided to get the work started here if I were to shift in here on the 31st. So I booked in an electrician to fix up the electrical fittings. More on it later. At least now I would have a place to live… a home…away from home :)

Quite a day it was

2005-07-18T19:07:00.000+05:30

I was back at Howrah today. The selling process is a routine now. We go, book orders, shopkeepers give a skeptical look to me. The salesman would introduce me as someone who has come from Bombay (for training). But this monotony was to be broken today. We went to this wholesaler who is an important customer for the stockist.
The salesman forewarned me before going to this shop that the shopkeeper is very mischievous. I was amused by this warning and was eager to meet this person. The salesman introduced me to this person, and this shopkeeper called me to one corner of his sales counter as if he was about to rag me. He asked me my complete name and wanted to know who I was, when I said “Indian”, he wanted to know the community to which I belong. I told him I am a Punjabi.
He went into a pensive mood after listening to this. He asked me name of two Punjabis who are famous. I had never thought about this but I answered Manmohan Singh (PM) and some other fellow, but he was not satisfied and started a bowling action by rolling his arm over as he wanted Harbhajan Singh as an answer. Then I asked him if he was to place any orders. He was still not in a mood to do that. He started boasting about how Bengalis were the most superior community and other such stuff. One thing I admire about this person was the kind of pressure he was handling. He had about 5 customers to attend at all times and had still managed to keep his sense of humor. By the end of that meeting we had established a good repo with each other. He wished me good luck when I left his shop after about 45 minutes.
Thereafter many stockists in this route wanted to know what we had for lunch in north etc. It seemed as if I was the ambassador of Punjab who has landed in Bengal to promote Punjabi culture.

Selling Toothpaste in a knee deep Water 14th July 2005

2005-07-15T17:57:00.000+05:30

It had rained heavily the entire last night and it was still pouring heavily when I left my lodge. The water logged near my lodge had just cleared up, I was told by the hotel manager. I contacted the SO I was supposed to shadow and he told me to visit the market with a salesman I was supposed to meet on Monday and then catch up with him later in the day. He told me to start late as because of rain the salesman would start late too.
I reached the designated location, which now had a slightly clearer address that I insisted should have more landmarks so that nobody is able to fool around this time round. After about 2 hrs of journey involving a criss cross between changing a few buses and cycle rickshaws, I was already damp. When I called up the salesman from the decided meeting point he had already left for the market again leaving me in a lurch. He refused to come back to take me along and a phone call to the SO who I was supposed to shadow did little help. I somehow managed to trace the stockist shop point and met the stockist there. This person was a character in himself and accused me telling him a lie that it took me so long to reach here. According to this person the place where I was coming from was 25 min away. I told him that I relied on public transport for travel and he still wouldn’t believe me. He kept shouting on me telling me that I should not have been late. I asked the route plan of the salesman and told him that I’ll catch up with the salesman there. This made sense to him and he sent a person along with me to this market. He told me to pay to the rickshaw whatever bill he asked for as if I were not going pay the bill. He instructed me to pay for the journey back of the person sent along with me and then taunted that he can pay that on his own. The journey through a crackling rickshaw was not an exciting one. We had to waddle our way through waterlogged streets. The water gave a look more of an overflowing drain than the rain pouring from above. One could see dirty polythenes floating around in this black water. I had thought that this would end while we end our journey but this did not happen and I came to face the reality that this was the place where we had to sell the toothpastes today. I paid for the back journey of the person sent along with me to guide me.
I caught up finally with the salesman with whom I was scheduled to work on Monday. This person did not want to accept my authority and wanted to have some fun at my expense. This chap had already booked the orders for a particular shop, which had water flowing in and out of it. He came back to this shop and asked me to follow him in the water. He was paddling his way through with his umbrella. I somehow had managed to find an upper ground and still not had put my feet in this dirty water. I hopped and leaped to find places in this water where the land was visible from the top and satisfied my salesman that I too was one of them. This pleased this salesman who from then onwards was quite friendly. He was a sharp and persuasive seller who had developed good relationship with the trade. He understood my language and also spoke a little of it. So interacting with him was not a problem. As if still not satisfied with my toughness he took me to a roadside tea stall and ordered something for the two of us. This time I refused to eat that stuff and instead I offered him the biscuits that I always carry in my bag. These serve as a good alternative to the unhygienic food that I might have in these roadside stalls. I told him that I avoid eating any thing roadside in rains. He in turn told me that this was similar to he telling his friends that he did not smoke in July and the month changed every time the calendar changed its page, which meant he never smoked.
This salesman told me that the sales that day were not to the fullest potential since it was raining these days and people were not buying enough. I questioned the logic of this statement on the basis that people would not stop brushing their teeth if it were raining. He told me that Howrah was a “coolie town” and people will not venture out in such rains and instead use ash to brush their teeth with their fingers. He told me that one distinct feature of this place was the population of this place. He said in rains people did not venture out and instead contributed to the national census. I asked him the number of times he has taken leave for the purpose in the rains and he told me twice. This chap was fun to work with. I walked around with him in the market waddling and paddling my way through these streets and booking orders, selling toothpastes, tooth brushes and what not. It was fun selling on this day. :)
I got a bus back to catch up with the SO in the afternoon at a different stock point. This chap too was a character but very unlike the previous stockist. This chap was about 30 years old and had sharp business acumen. He supplied goods to the wholesale market and I was told he did business more than any other stockist in India but one. He was a loud marwari businessman. He made it sound to me that he was earning only two breads a day in the business and the company was not doing enough for him. I asked the fellow SO to do a quick calculation of the ROI he was earning and it was more than 20%. But the person cribbed because one he found a new person to do that and two, he thought I was very naïve. He was perhaps the only stockist who wanted the company to raise his targets but give him certain incentives over and above already given to him and other stockists. But honestly, I learned a few things from this person on how these people operated business. He did all his work on paper bills and did not want to work with the computerized system of billing that we follow with most of the urban stockists.
I again had biscuits as my lunch today for the want of anything hygienic today and reached my lodge early today by around 6:00 Pm. after I parted ways with my colleague at the stock point, which was in Calcutta itself. So this is what I am surviving on these days: Biscuits & Juices. Thanks to ITC Sunfeast & Dabur Real. :)

Visit to Diamond Harbor, 24 South Parganas 11 July 2005

2005-07-11T17:54:00.000+05:30

The new week has started today and I was supposed to be on my shadow Sales Officer (SO) stint from today, this is based at Howrah. Howrah is a suburb to Kolkata and lies across the famous Howrah bridge, officially named as Rabindra Setu. The day started early for me, as I had to pack and leave. It was a blessing in disguise for me that I had to stay away from my guest house this night because there was no booking for my regular room today and the room being offered to me was a store room. I took a bus to Howrah, which took 40 min to reach the station. Kolkata is one of the dirtiest and filthiest cities one can ever go to. It seems so with the state of affairs at this huge railway station. I don’t remember seeing such huge a railway station in any other city I have been to. There is filth lying all around the place, people don’t seem to mind that. In fact the thinking of local populace here seems to be that it cannot get any dirtier so why bother, and in turn they add their part of garbage too on the roads. If someone were to describe the city less its people, one can safely write, “once upon a time, there was a municipal corporation in Calcutta, those were the days when it was the capital of India, and ruled by British”.
I changed my bus here and got down at the designated stop. I was told to take a cycle rickshaw from this place to Sidheswari temple. I did the same, but the driver pulled a smart one on me. He took me to a small temple and told me that was what I was looking for. I became easily convinced because a Bajaj Auto showroom was nearby and that was one of the landmarks given to me. As you would have easily guessed by now, this was not where I wanted to go and to aggravate the matters, I had moved in a totally opposite direction. I contacted the stockist from there and his attitude was that of “reach this place if u can on your own or fuck off”. But I asked for a salesman covering that area instead of the salesman designated to work with me that day. The sales man arrived there after about an hour that was an awfully long period to wait. He was on a bicycle so this day I had a cycle salesman stint. I booked orders with him till lunchtime and while doing this I saw the oldest engineering college in India i.e. Bengal Engineering College.
I came back to the city and reached my office where I had my lunch at the office and immediately after that we left for this place called Diamond Harbor, which is located in a district of west Bengal called 24 South Parganas. This is the place where Ganges pours into Bay of Bengal and is also a host to the famous Sunderbans. We had a salesmen meet in this place. We went there in a Tata Sumo, driven by a person who seemed to be straight out of a formula 1 race. I was sure that he would kill someone before we reach our destination. We passed through Joka enroute to our destination. Here I saw IIM Calcutta, which has a huge campus. We reached the lodge, where we were required to stay, after two hours of a tipsy-turvy ride
This place is amazing and serene. The width of the river Ganges at this point was about 1 km. The basis of my estimate is that I could see the land at the horizon and I had read somewhere that the farthest that the human eye can see horizontally is 1 km.  The land on other side of the river was Haldia and had a petroleum refinery there. Our hotel was located on the bank of the river. This hotel was far from what I would have liked. The first thing that I check in these upcountry hotels is the condition of the attached bathroom, which was pathetic here. The taps were not working, the place was dirty, and the bed sheets dirtier and I was to share this room with one of my subordinates. But nothing could take away the beauty of the place where this hotel was located. After checking in with whatever little luggage I had in the hotel, I went for a walk on the banks of this river. This would be the marine drive of South Parganas as the place had pavements for people to sit in, vendors roaming to serve you with what they had. It was the first time that I saw waves in a river. They are not as violent as that of the sea and do not cause much damage. A heavy breeze was blowing in this place. To give you an estimate, while sitting on the pavement parallel to the river I left a piece of small paper at my chest height and this was carried about 30 feet away horizontally on the other side of the road. The atmosphere was serene and the place was not at all crowded. There were about 2-3 km of fishnets, which were tied to plastic hollow drums to keep them afloat. I am told that the government leases the entire area to the fishing cooperative societies who pay the rent and share the profits amongst themselves. I was told that these fishing nets are pulled out once in fifteen days. And they have marked areas from which the net is pulled each day for a fortnight and then the cycle is repeated. The fresh water fish here was very cheap and my subordinates did some shopping of the same. Bengali people are very fond of fish and eat it in all their meals so it was no surprise to me when each one of them got about 10 – 15 kg of fish. They also sold seawater fishes here as the estuary was also nearby. Another distinct feature of this area i.e. Diamond Harbor is the number of hookers that roam the area at all times of the day. I was told that the lodges nearby are a haven for people who are out to have some cheap fun. As I may have written earlier too, there is widespread poverty in the area forcing women into flesh trade. These things notwithstanding, watching the sunset here was a heavenly sight.
I came back to the hotel as we were supposed to assemble at 1900 hrs for a brief meeting. I was surprised to see that I was the only one interested to meet in time as everybody else was busy in his chores. When I reminded them of the deadline, I was told this is not the way things work here and I was told to relax. Anyhow, everybody finally assembled at 1930 much to the dismay of my boss. But he wanted to keep it relaxed as the meeting was called to make some announcements. One of giving farewell to a fellow employee who had been a part of this team for two years now and had performed very well. The second one was to welcome me in their team and the third was to announce that we had a party that night. I was gifted a Parker Pen for welcoming me in this team. The DM had announced right at the outset the mode of communication of that meeting would be the official language i.e. English because of my inability to understand Bengali.
The party that followed turned out to be a nightmare for me. We were served with Chicken pakodas and fried Pomfret fishes along with salad. This was accompanied by whisky, which was meant for the senior people and rum that was served to the salesmen. It seems each one of them had a tanker in their stomach, because they gulped alcohol like it were water. I was a total left out in this entire scene. Every body was smoking and drinking alcohol around me and I was sitting amongst a bunch of inebriated people trying to juggle my way out of the smoke and making a sense of what was going on. The language of communication had changed to Bengali so I did not even understand what was being talked about. This went on for some time when a few salesmen suddenly recalled that they were supposed to talk in English that night and the mayhem started. They started talking in English and I still could not understand any thing except a few disjointed words because they made no sense to me. The meeting ended with a dinner after about 4 hours. I had a few moments where a few subordinates tried to involve me in their discussions but seeing my stern reluctance and resistance to join in their booze melee, they retracted in their own discussions.
After the meeting, I came to my room and slept immediately as I felt terribly bored and suffocated with the smoke that had filled the party room. The place looked to be even dirtier with lights on. I could now understand how people would not object to such conditions after drinking so heavily. I switched off the lights and went off to sweep to avoid any thoughts of disgust that were germinating in my head. But still nothing could take away the heavenly breeze that came from the river. :)

Travelogue to Krishna Nagar on 8th July 2005 - Life at a new place

2005-07-09T17:45:00.000+05:30

I started from my existing station Ranaghat in the morning with a Red Company T-shirt & a cap on. I definitely appeared to be an alien for the residents of this town looked at me as if I were from some other planet. One-railway police personnel approached me and asked me the country that I belonged to. When I informed him that I belonged to this very country, he demanded the city that belonged to. When I told him that I belonged to Delhi, he wanted to frisk me to make sure he is not letting a criminal run away. All this communication happened with great difficulty with me speaking a few broken words in Bengali that I had learnt in the three days that I had been in Bengal. I assured him I am an employee of "the firm that I work for" so he need not worry. However he did his duty by pressing my Backpack from all the sides ensuring it did not have anything mysterious.
The average height of people in this town is about 5’-6”, which made me stand tall amongst everyone here quite literally though. I could see over the heads of most of the people in the local train. Although I have always felt proud for my height, it posed as a big disadvantage while traveling in the Krishna Nagar Local or for that matter any local train here. The handrails, provided in the train for support for people who either are not fortunate enough to get a seat or who like to lean outside the train while traveling, hang from the roof so low that I had to juggle my head sideways to prevent them from hitting me. The train did oscillations sideways while it moved forward. All the handrails that did not have a hand on it near my head appeared to have taken my presence as a challenge there, with each one of it moving towards me with a vengeance. Fortunately I had a cap on which partially cushioned such impacts on my temple. I objected to a couple of people smoking cigarettes and I am sure it was not very well taken.
It was a 45-minute journey from Ranaghat to Krishna Nagar, which is a border town to Bangladesh. Krishna nagar is named so after the king Krishna Chandra who once ruled this part of the world. At that time, Krishnanagar was the center of the territory that was ruled by the king and is known to be a prosperous town. It still is the center of the Nadia district as defined by the West Bengal municipality. This town houses the district courts and also has a stadium where domestic cricket & football matches are often played. There is only a single rail line connecting this town with the world. Although, the work for laying a second rail track seemed to be on its way at full swing.
The sight on both sides of the train was amazing with green in all its hues and shades put in the background. The germinated saplings that were hardly 6” tall stood vertically from the ground saluting the clouds overhead. It was disturbing to see the poverty in the area amongst such beautiful surroundings. Women barely had clothes to cover their bodies. But, one thing between these two contradicting images that stood out was the number of football fields that stood on either side of the track, which shows how soccer is the sport of choice in this part of the country.
When I reached here, the Pilot sales men, with whom I was supposed to work had still not come. He was about 15 min late and when he came, he brought along with him a heavy bout of rain. I made a silent prayer for the rain to stop so that I can work in the market. It seemed God was in a mood to listen to my prayers as the rain stopped immediately after and we reached our stockist point in the heart of the city. I saw the structure which once would have been a magnanimous palace but now was reduced to ruins.
My sales training started here with a visit to a place named Dhubulia in a bus, which as the local trains, had difficulty accommodating me. Ideally I would have liked to vacate my seat for any lady standing, but I could not afford to be chivalrous with my back bent half way through while standing. The way to Dhubulia bisected lush green fields of jute on both sides. After traveling through several villages I reached this place, which is connected to the external world through this small road and a toy train, which services this location twice a day.
When I got down I heard “Dhoom Machale” being played in one of the shops. This pleasantly surprised me but then I realized that no body here understood the lyrics and the song was played only to listen the musical content of the song. I met a host of shopkeepers here, some of whom treated me with respect and dignity but some of them also made fun of me for not being one of them and not knowing their language. I then returned back to Krishna Nagar. After understanding some of the paper work and auditing it, I went for having my lunch. Most of these places here in upcountry Kolkata have a fixed meal system instead of a menu, where you could choose and order. So I ordered a veg meal, but inspired by a friend who had praised the fish curries of Kolkata, I ordered a fish too. The only thing that they would serve this is rice, as they don’t believe in cooking chapattis for lunch. The served me a yellow dal, if you could find some pulses in that. It was more of a yellow water called Bhat most importantly did not taste bad. The second dish they served me was unbelievable. They had made a dish out of Gulab Jamuns, a sweet very fondly had in north India. It was unfathomable for me that somebody could do that. I checked out the contents of the round balls and they were the same. So I realized one always has the option of not putting it in sweet water and adding a curry to it. J It was good in taste and was cooked with potato, which is present invariably in all the curry vegetables you have here. The fish part also came as a surprise as they served me a full foot long fish to eat. It was as if somebody forgot to cut it into pieces, but then I looked around and found that almost everybody had a fish in their food plate in various stages of being eaten. I, to my surprise, ate one myself.
Then I checked into this lodge, which was more of a paying guest accommodation than a hotel. The building and construction was archaic, about 60 years old. The construction seemed to be quite solid as you could see a maze of iron bars visible over your head, over which hard stones provided for the roof spread. Another distinct characteristic of this construction was the height of the roof, which was at least 17’ high. All this may sound grand but this old construction had its perils of that of archaic bathrooms. It seemed to be o.k. till I ventured inside at night and found a 2” cockroach marking its territory in there. I locked the bathroom hoping that this creature won’t creep out while I sleep.
Bengali is one community that respects & reveres women and female forms of God. So I found a lot of temples devoted to Maa Kali & Durga. I visited one such temple in the evening. It was a huge temple and the person who led me to this Kali temple was an employee of the stockist I was working with. This person did not know any Hindi or English, so it was fun communicating with him.
On a philosophical note, I would like to write here what I call the Circular Theory. I have realized over the years that every emotion in me can be put on a continuum joined end to end, like a circle. I was amused initially while communicating this person and then I started having fun taking it as a challenge, so my mental state was of that of positive amusement of how we both are struggling to talk to each other. But the continuum leads to a state where frustration overpowers such good feelings. So the idea is to be in that mental state of the circle where happiness exceeds frustration. :)
It was stark dark while I was coming back from the temple, as there was a power cut in the area. I saw the sky, which was clear and very well lit by the stars. It was a very elating site for me as the only time I remember seeing such a sky, lit up by thousands of stars was either in Nehru Planetarium in Delhi or in my dreams. I saw another spectacle while coming back. Young people were playing carom in the dark, outdoors on the main road of the area, with the carom placed on a permanent carom stand on a footpath, and an electricity bulb hanging on it, powered by the generators in the market area. All the areas that I have visited till now have a lot of football fields, so I was surprised to see people playing an indoor game in the land of football. So that’s it for now. :)

Placement Trip to Mumbai

2004-08-30T18:23:00.000+05:30

The journey started with Puri scolding everybody “Yaaaar kahan the tum….Sab mujhe galiyan de rahe hain….we will get late”…Mind U the train was 2 hrs late (Info gained through 1331) by Puri, who was a sight to watch, with a cordless phone in his ambit and calling everybody about the train routes. After all the deliberations, our journey started from the institute in a cab, with six people with their luggage stuffed into the cab. The cab moved to the hostel, wherein some last minute adjustments were made in the seating arrangements and we left the hostel. The taxi driver was a stud who thought it was his birthright to violate all traffic signals and drive as if he was the only one on the road. The exciting journey had just begun when it struck Dipti that someone was nowhere to be seen. So we took an about turn to locate that someone in the hostel. Ritesh had actually missed the cabs and was sleeping in his room. The cab driver gave a sly look, but anyhow went back to the hostel to pick up the stranded “would-be” passenger. Even after all this we reached New Delhi Railway Station a good 35 min before the re-scheduled departure time. The sultry weather had just started to show its colours, with everyone sweating profusely. The Pashim Express, train we were to board had been further delayed by 2 hrs. Dipti took out all her tools to cool off the team, one of them being a hand held fan. Janta at the New Delhi Railway station was having a field day ogling at the girls, who were busy on their hand held devices with no realization as to what was happening around them. Finally the train arrived at 7:50 and we started running towards our coach. The team was split into three groups with 2 groups in the same coach and the third part in a separate coach. This third team interestingly consisted of Abhijit, Puri, Sumant and Vinay. Now the air was pregnant with possibilities and the discussion in this department started on Covered interest Arbitrage (I hope I am right)… Puri feeling uncomfortable on the lack of knowledge (rather work) started feeling restless and frustrated and came to the other team, but after ensuring everybody had his seat.Meanwhile in the other team, we ordered for a few dinner packages, which were never used eventually, because our Mr. Singhal, who claimed he had food for 8 people, had food for at least 16 human beings. Anyhow, we had a heavy dinner and then the GC session started. People started dozing off, with Vani being the first one to climb up the upper berth and losing her consciousness. Next followed, our bibliophile Neha, with a book in hand and other under her arm. But she too collapsed under the burden of exhaustion while reading the first book. Mind you this is no indication of her voracious reading capabilities. The group then consisted of myself, Rajan, Aditi, Puri & Singhal. Another fresh round of GC started with me and Adi developing case study around our protagonist Rajan. And Puri having a field day (night) in trying to solve the case study, with all his characteristic confusion and innocence mixed in. Singhal also added a lot of sort snippets in the case study. Rajan kept our co-passengers awake by sitting on their seats. It seemed for a moment both Rajan and the legal passenger for that seat were sleeping with their eyes wide open. By this time Puri had done atleast 10 rounds of to and from motion between the two compartments ensuring that the other compartment was coming along the train. J It was at 2:00 in the morning that we finally decided to give some time to Puri to solve the case and we all went off to a well-deserved sleep. Vani and Neha on the upper berths. Singhal and Dipti on middle berths and I and Ritesh (his berth being slightly wet) on the lower berths. Puri decided to man the luggage for a while but then decided against it with sleep overpowering him too. Now the berth on which Dipti was sleeping was not reserved for us, so around 3:00 AM in the morning, someone shook her of her comfortable sleep asking her to vacate the berth, Dipti somehow managed to convince this gentlemen to look for a substitute in the coach, and the gentlemen did so but not before disturbing other passengers.I woke up around 6:00 in the morning, and after all my morning ablutions decided to do basically nothing. The water in our coach was exhausted by this time. Rajan also woke up to this reality and got sentimental over the fact. Aditi also woke up, and the first thing she wanted to do in the morning was to have a look at Puri sleeping. Puri on the other hand was sleeping in a posture that would put the most alert of the sleepers into shame. Ready to pounce to do any work that was available at that time of the day. Aditi then convinced whoever listened to her (Rajan and Singhal forming the consideration set) to wash their faces with a toothpaste gel. The selling pitch being “How can anyone not do it !!, as if it was the most obvious thing that should have occurred to the mankind.J The gentlemen in question must have been tired out of their wits when they actually did the act to “feel the freshness of the toothpaste”. Rajan now started waking our other teammates showing them the grim realities of what water shortage could mean to them. Believe me, waking with all those thoughts in mind can never be a pleasant experience for anyone. Anyhow, everybody woke up and found that water was available throughout the train except this compartment. So now it was Rajan’s to face the brickbats. The weather outside was marvelous with intermittent rains slashing our train windows. It was around 7:30 when the train came to a grinding halt at a station named “MeghNagar” with clouds hovering around with a slight drizzle pouring down. This drizzle turned into a heavy downpour and continued slashing windows of the train. I got down the train and got the feelers that it may take 1-2 hrs before the train would move again as some rocks have fallen in the path and work is on to remove the rocks from the path. The waiter in the train told us that train would not move before 3 hrs. This then kick started the first of the sessions of our card play. The first game that we played was Bluff with Singhal winning the game. Then the game moved on to a more professional front with the teen patties being the order of the day. I moved out, Neha kept the accounts where as all the others started to test their fortunes in the game. We also got to know the true reason why we were stranded, which was the railway line had “caved in” because of heavy rains along the path, making it impossible for rail traffic to resume any time soon. The teen patti was drawing immense interest from the co-passengers, especially a lady in the adjacent compartment who was doing her early morning prayers with a Bhagwad Gita in her hand. She objected to our group making so much noise. But the excitement won over the faith of the woman who then swapped her places with a youth. Ritesh, being a novice in the game was making us laugh the most, by raising stakes on the cards, which an average person would not dare bet a penny on, but he was the one who won the most. Singhal being the looser for the day. Ritesh then treated us with samosas, from his newly earned fortune. Puri was trying tirelessly to solve the last night case study by quizzing Rajan, who decided to catch a nap again, with due permission from the worthy girls, whom he had choose to wake up in the morning. I also got bored from the game and climbed up the berth to catch a nap. It was around 11:00 when the ticket master finally came to the compartment and asked us what we wanted to do. He painted a real grim picture. He said that we would try to reach Mumbai in 30-35 hrs from now, if things remain normal. When asked on alternatives he commented “AAP LOG TO TASH KHELO, JALDI KYA HAI” sarcastically and went off. On a little coaxing he told us a train on the adjacent platform is about to leave for a place called Dahud and we can try reaching Mumbai from there. The catch was the train was about to leave in 7 minutes and we had to shift our luggage and most importantly ourselves, and we were scattered around two coaches. We told Doctor to catch hold of the reservation office to get our tickets marked so that we can move ahead with the journey after Dahud. I had to change in a trouser, which apparently irked Puri Sahab, who got senti that I would miss the train, which almost happened when the train blew its whistle, with me half way through the changing process I finally got my act together and boarded the train after running a few meters, with Doctor being the last one to board the train. This local train was about 8-9 coaches long with us scattered throughout the train. But everybody’s face was gleaming with a smile of pride, now that we were moving forward. We hopped all the compartments when the train stopped for a 2 sec each at different stoppages to be in the same compartment, only to realize that someone was carrying loads of dead fishes in this compartment. The compartment had a lot of raw vegetables lying around too and when we started photograph all this, the lady carrying the vegetables wanted to be clicked along with us. Neha and I had a spitting competition in the meanwhile, with both trying to meter our spitting power. Others were having a passive smoking session with Chomu, Abhijit and Vinay carrying on the CIA discussion forward with Captain. The journey to Dahud was short and sweet, if I can say so. I hopped in the driver panel when the train stopped at the Dahud station at 2:00 in the afternoon to enquire about what was the status of the train and whether it would move towards Baroda after some time. The answer came in affirmative and it struck a ray of hope somewhere. The driver told us the train would move towards Vadodra at 4:00 Pm. But still uncertainty prevailed and I advised the group to look for other alternatives. I along with Rajan then left the group at the station and went out for looking for other alternatives.The people of this small town got to know of the fact that a lot of people are ready to be fleeced of their money. Rajan and I first approached a cab owner, who ran away with his cab to look for greener pastures (read girls). The streets here were flooded with water. I being in my floaters was more comfortable then Rajan, who was in his leather shoes. The water level was about ½ a feet, for which I had to pull up my denims to my knee level. Our search for a mode of transportation had just begun. The more we moved forward in our search the more obscenities were uttered by Rajan, addressed to Narender Modi, who happened to be the chief minister of the state. This was because of the pot holes, one of which almost took his shoes away. We reached the bus station after some initial hiccups and saw people fighting with the Bus station master for initiating a few extra buses towards Baroda and a few towards Ahmedabad. The dilemma for this gentleman was that all his buses were already pressed into service. People were forcing him to withdraw buses from other routes and put them into “good use”. People from these routes objected to such good use. After seeing people fighting, we decided to return to our friends at the station, thinking that train was the best alternative at 4:00 Pm. I thought to confirm this fact with the stationmaster, who told us that no train would leave towards Vadodra for at least a day, and that the driver had given us a wrong impression and this was the best he could do for us.Our friends here were totally tired and feeling hungry having not eaten anything for more than 16 hrs now. We decided to move out of the station towards the taxi stand. Here was coined one of our journey’s memorable phrases “Girls, carry the laptops, Others carry the rest of the luggage.” Mind you, this was not a reprieve for girls, who were to carry five 3-4kg laptops. We split the team into two, asking the majority half to have their lunch in a nearby dhaba. I, Puri, Kingshuk, Ritesh and Captain decided to stay with the luggage. Meanwhile a “luxury bus” owner approached us with some help. We booked 15 seats with the bus owner for Rs. 200 each. The normal fare for this route was Rs. 80. But the problem was the bus was to start from 400m away from we had established our new base and we had to shift the entire luggage to this new place. We boarded two autos, stuffed them with the entire luggage and reached the starting point for the buses. The bus had already been occupied beyond capacity. But here came in the bargaining power of the users, (Michael Porter fifth force came to our rescue), and the bus owner ensured that we had 15 seats for our disposal. The enormity of the luggage that we were carrying scared the wits out of the bus owner. Somehow we managed to stuff the hard luggage in the stepny compartment (used for keeping the reserve tyres) of the bus and soft luggage was dumped on the seats, which were reserved for our seating. Here was established, the first of the friendships with one of he co-passengers named Akshay, a 30 year old gentlemen, who helped me transfer the luggage in the bus from a shorter route of window, rather then the conventional door. Akshay, a Gujrati, is also doing his MBA from Mumbai University though a distant learning program, so one could sense the respect that he had for people from the same fraternity. He was traveling with a group of 15 members, who were returning from the Amarnath Yatra.The bus journey started, but the five members who were guarding the luggage were still hungry and had the food packed up for them. The luncheon for these members started with I keeping the garnished vegetable on my lap and holding the chappatis in my hand, Puri holding the other vegetable and the other three feasting on the much-awaited lunch. The time was 4:00 by now. Then we reversed roles and Puri and I had my lunch, with others holding the vegetables. Somebody remarked now everything seems to be fine. Puri said “no tension at all” and immediately the bus came to a halt at a petrol pump. We were told to offload as a tyre had punctured, so we did and started moving around the place. Clicked a few phenomenal photographs (which were later deleted accidentally from my camera). The tyres of this bus seemed to be totally bland, but that was least of our concern as long as the bus could take us to Baroda, where the a train was to leave for Mumbai at 11:00 in the night. The journey from Dahud to Baroda took 4 hrs in ideal conditions. So we had a good margin with us. The journey re-started at 4:45 PM from the Dahud petrol pump, with a repaired tyre. We started moving with Puri sitting on top of the luggage with his head touching the bus ceiling. I decided to do the journey standing in the aisle rather than cramping my tall legs. We had barely moved 2 hrs from the diesel station that Puri felt his floor sinking, with the bus swerving and coming to a halt. The bus had punctured again. This time a burst in two of the tyres. The place was Godhra, this place shook up a few memories in everybody’s heart, though no one spoke of it, except Ritesh who was counting the no. of things that were happening with him for the first time.Someone above there, I thought was testing our perseverance. We offloaded our stuff, since the scope of getting in the same bus was limited. The girls after offloading wanted to have a leak, but it being a jungle, no such comfortable arrangement could be figured out. Then a temple came in sight and I along with the girls reached that place and saw a well built home. An elderly gentleman answered the doorbell. I talked to him in English, which I guess did the trick, because he did not understand a single word and thought that we were educated and harmless and allowed the girls to use his premises. Meanwhile our co-passengers in the bus had stopped another bus and by the time we reached back to our stranded bus, there was no place for 15 of us to board in the new bus. So we let that go. On the next headcount the passengers were 26 including Akshay and his gang and us. We stopped a truck who agreed to leave us 2 km off our destination that too in a jungle. We decided against it and waited till the next bus came, which happened pretty soon and we boarded the bus. By this time, people were having fun discussing the whole episode, thinking that all the trouble was over and soon we would be in Baroda, where we would make the rest of the travel arrangements and reach Mumbai. Kingshuk remarked “Abhi zaroori nahin hai, abhi aur bhi panchar ho sakta hai”, and then the bus came to a screeching halt. Nobody could believe their ears when the conductor informed them that it was indeed a tyre puncture. People now started cursing their fate. I then observed that wherever we went, there was a flood, there were incessant rains, but the very moment something happened to our bus, the rains stopped and we could offload from bus easily. In fact, the wet ground all around us was evident of the fact that the rains had just left the place. It gave a ray of bright hope to some of the group members. We stopped another road transport bus, and boarded it. Everyone threatened Kingshuk to think twice before he opened his mouth about any such thing. We were separated from Akshay and his gang at this juncture, exchanging our mobile numbers, so that in case any luggage was amiss, we could contact the other party. The bus reached Vadodra bus station at around 9:45, and everybody took a sigh of relief. After walking down about 200 mts (seemed to be a km at that time) we reached the railway station, where in Neha’s dad was waiting for us. He was expecting us at around 2:00 as per our earlier schedule but it was 10:00 now. Just seeing him was so comforting that I cannot put that in words because of my limited knowledge of the queen’s language. He came in as an angel and asked us to just relax and chill, as he did the travel arrangements for us. He had organized a dinner treat for all of us and we all would be indebted to Neha for that. J Thank You Uncle.After having our dinner, which came in as ambrosia, we boarded the final leg of our journey in the Mumbai borne Dehradun express. We met Akshay and gang again while boarding this train. To our pleasant surprise, rather delight, we had the entire bogey to sleep in. There was hardly anybody in the compartment except us. The train started its journey at around 11:15 in the night. Now that we were finally back in a train, Singhal took out his pack of cards for another round of Teen patties, with Neha again keeping the record. The gains and losses were heavy during this session too with the winner remaining the same, while the looser for the night being Aditi. I then climbed up an upper berth and dozed off unmindful of the play below my berth. I woke up at around 5:45 in the morning and found Sumant already awake and meditating. I then asked the lone passenger in the compartment about our location who told me that Borivalli station, where we were to board off was 15 min away. I woke up everyone. The nightmare had passed and we finally reached Mumbai and boarded the local to the Churchgate station from Borivalli and reached out Manora MLA hostel by taxis. Rahul greeted us there with a broad characteristic grin on his face. The 2 day journey had come to an end.